Thinking it Over
Layton advised me to cool down before hitting delete. The next day, I could think more clearly. I remembered all the women I'd met through vlogging, the people who'd thanked me for my help, and the mothers I'd connected with, and I decided to stick with it. Ultimately, I felt that the benefit of helping people makes any negativity worth it. The truth is, if you put your life on the Internet, people are free to judge you and say hurtful things while hiding behind their computer. And you're definitely going to get haters when you post something as intimate as a birth video.
I'm expecting again and due this month -- it's another boy! -- and I've been sharing pregnancy milestones on YouTube. I'm planning to videotape this birth, too, and post it when I'm home from the hospital. My first video had to be less than 10 minutes because I was new to YouTube, so I obviously couldn't show enough footage to capture the entire experience. This time around, I'll be able to post something that's closer to 20 minutes long, and I plan to share more of the initial labor. I want to reveal more about the process. I'd love to get footage of my water breaking and narrate how it felt, as well as film some of my big contractions; I hope other women will get an even better sense of what labor is really like. I'm already receiving messages from subscribers saying how much they're looking forward to the video.