Such a huge life change is thrilling and scary to both prospective parents. While couples share many of the concerns about having children (number one on the list is that the baby be born healthy), men have their own distinct worries.
Much of their concern stems from not having a role model to teach them how to be the father they want to be. Today's dads want to be more involved than their fathers were a generation ago, notes William Pollack, PhD, director of the Center for Men and Young Men at McClean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. Their fathers may not have spent as much time interacting with a newborn, for example. So jumping into the unknown causes panic.
Here are the five most common fears about fatherhood -- and how to overcome them.
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Boy am I glad to read some comments that other people ar going through the same thing as me.
1/23/2012 11:10:27 AM Report AbuseMy partner is terrified. He's getting ready to go to afghanistan and is afraid that when he comes home he is gonna be a bad father. I really don't know how to ease his mind
11/26/2011 09:13:35 AM Report Abusei am 8wks pregnant n my bf he is 28 got scared wen i told him i was pregnant, he talks about abortion cuz he is not ready n am forcing him n am in sch no job, well he doesnt pay no attention to me n brought a girl in his room one time while i was in da living room.
11/8/2011 09:48:20 PM Report Abusemy wife just told me to read this. how great
8/14/2011 06:51:04 PM Report AbuseI am 22 weeks pregnant and the father is worried that he won't be a good dad to our daughter. Once there use to be a time that he wouldn't talk about the baby. He would have cold feet and say " Shel I don't know". But now it's getting a little better.
6/1/2011 10:59:23 AM Report AbuseWhen we found out we were pregnant, we couldn't have been happier. We're so in love that this has only brought us together. From the moment we found out to now, 15 weeks later, the only thing that has changed is our lifestyle in this stage of growing up. I honestly feel so thankful to have him by my side every step of the way, still rubbing and kissing my belly everyday! And we certainly can't wait to meet our little man or little lady!
3/7/2011 07:40:51 PM Report AbuseI was so happy to read this blog today. I thought I was the only woman who was pregnant and dealing with a "confused" father. My child's father seems to change his feelings everyday and it drives me crazy. Since reading some of these stories it feels more like he's going through "becoming a dad jitters". My male friends have shared stories with me and often try to convince me that he will come around once the baby is born. I now believe them.
3/3/2011 01:36:50 PM Report Abusemy pregnancy was not planned. I was 38 years old and my daughter is 21 years old with a 4 year old daughter. My husband is 55 years old. We both can financially take care of the baby. We were both shocked because we have been careful for 18 years. It is totally a blessing and I would not change a thing. However, I am high risk and have been going through alot of testing. I would not trade a thing.
2/20/2011 12:46:07 PM Report Abuseim 20 my pregnancy wasnt planned at all but once we found out he was excited i was not.all i saw was the stress of having a baby it. little by little i warmed up to it and now im excited. However 31 wks and hubbys excitement has drastically dropped. He used to kiss my tummy everyday but now he doesnt. He hasnt shown me affection in quite a while any time i mention baby he stays pretty quiet. hes been so distant lately and wont tell me whats on his mind.
2/16/2011 01:55:29 AM Report AbuseI am 5 weeks pregnant and excited. This baby was planned. The father is 41 and thought it was about time to start a family. We started trying to conceive.The pregnancy test read positive. Right after he didn't want to talk to me. When he would, he would talk about abortion as our only option as this is the wrong time in his life to have a child. I'm a pro life advocate. I left so my child can have a chance at life. Has anyone else experienced such a reaction?
2/10/2011 12:45:56 PM Report Abusemy baby wasnt planned but me and the father have gotten really excited! he loves kids and he is excited to see what his kid will be like.. finacially were worried but as far as everything else were excited and will take it a step at a time!! willing to give my baby boy lots of love and support from both mommy and daddy
1/27/2011 01:40:52 PM Report AbuseMy husband is afraid of the financial bind that it will have on the family. Plus, he has gone into some kind of "quiet mode" about the pregnancy. I ask him questions about our baby, and he says, we have (__) more months to think about that.
1/20/2011 03:27:40 PM Report AbuseTHis pregnancy was not planned, in fact I had been on birth control when I got pregnant. When I told the father, he was very upset. As we go along he has gotten into asking questions and rubbin my belly. I am worrying myself to death over his reacton. I don't know that it to be real or he is just tryin to be supportive. I do understand his fear because I have the same but what do I do? I don't bring up the subject of the baby to him unless he does. Hard to get excited all by myself.
1/6/2011 11:28:50 AM Report AbuseMy husband was 100% certain he wanted to have a baby. Now that I'm pregnant, he is absent physically and emotionally. Lately he seems to be picking fights over nothing and blaming them on me. It seems like he has had much worse mood swings then I ever had. If he wanted the child to begin with, why doesn't he get involved?
9/30/2010 06:06:00 PM Report Abuseim so stoked about being a father for the third time, my only fear is getting to work providing for my family,plus buying a bigger house once the kids start to grow-up.
9/24/2010 12:33:42 PM Report AbuseI thought this was a good article until i read number six. Consider home equity. I find that to be pretty irresponsible. Taking out a home equity loan to pay bills. That's just crazy. Get rid of cable, your home phone, any unnecessary items to save money for the needed expenses. Heck get a part time job. Job loss? Now your broke and have no house. We like many other parents or soon to be parents are worried about finances but neither of us ever thought or would consider borrowing money.
8/25/2010 10:24:11 PM Report Abusemy partner has been acting like he dosent know if he should even be here... then some days he acts like that is all that matters... is this normal???
6/29/2010 01:49:09 PM Report AbuseMy partner got so freaked out that he decided that our baby was the most important thing in his life. Sounds great huh? Not at all!! He decided that it was so important that he provide and give to this child everything possible, so therefore myself & my 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship are a burden to him!! We were a financial burden!!! We would take from him giving his daughter everything he wants to give her!! He just turned 40 & this is his 1st child. A planned pregnancy!!!
6/1/2010 01:07:35 PM Report Abusemost dads to be get scared to have a baby around cuse the never took care of one some worry about if the baby going to like them or the afrade that they might hurt the baby if ther tiny
4/26/2010 10:40:30 AM Report Abuse