|
|
 |
|
"We Can't Get Pregnant Again"
Our first child -- one of those babies jokingly referred to as an "accident" -- was not quite 2 when my husband and I decided we wanted another. At the time, it didn't seem arrogant to think of this as a decision and not merely a hope. After all, if I could conceive without meaning to, how hard could it be to get pregnant on purpose? We'd just grin at each other one afternoon during the baby's nap, and a few weeks later a little blue line would magically appear in the window of a pregnancy test.
Two years and two miscarriages later, we had learned a sad lesson in human biology: Fertility is not always within our control.
Like many couples who easily conceived and carried their first child, we faced a shocking diagnosis: secondary infertility. Medically, the term refers to parents who, after 12 months of unprotected intercourse, have failed to conceive another child, but most experts also include recurrent miscarriage in the definition. And in human terms, the result is the same: a blank space in a family where a child is longed for.
Indeed, one of the best-kept secrets of the fertility industry is that nearly a quarter of couples seeking treatment are already parents. Some of these patients had trouble conceiving the first time, so they know what they're up against when they try again. But many others, like my husband and me, have been stunned to learn that, "in fertility, past success is no guarantee of future success," as Michael DiMattina, M.D., director of Dominion Fertility and Endocrinology, in Arlington, Virginia, puts it.
Yet, according to Dr. DiMattina, people suffering secondary infertility are only half as likely to seek treatment as those facing primary infertility. Partly, Dr. DiMattina says, this reluctance stems from emotional denial. "Previously fertile people tend to think, If I just give up coffee or reduce my stress, it will happen." Though such measures undoubtedly enhance general health, he says, "they won't cure infertility." To complicate matters, busy ob-gyns often assume there's no medical reason when patients who have previously demonstrated their fertility take an unusually long time to conceive. Unfortunately, such a wait-and-see approach can allow an untreated problem to become an untreatable one.
What do you think of this story? Tell Us.
|
Related Links
|
Related Videos
|
Comments
Please confirm your comment by answering the question below and clicking "Submit Comment."
i am 23 i have a little boy he is 4 now,i got very sick right after he was born 4 years later only comin right but i have been tryin 4 another baby for 3 years now, and i tryed everything all i want is another baby,i cant understand why i cant have another baby it breaks my heart when my little boy asks me for a sister,no one understands
1/2/2012 06:55:21 PM Report Abusepls help my wife can't conceive a baby for the 2nd time, already sought medical help from her ob-gyn but it did not help
11/22/2011 08:29:57 AM Report AbuseMy son was born on Valentines Day of 2010 and I have been trying to get pregnant again since he was about 5 months old. I have lost 4 singles and a set of triplets. I havent been able to carry longer than 3 months. I dont know if it is a habit of mine that is making it impossible to carry or if maybe I am just not meant to have another. All I know is if I could have one more baby I would want it to be a girl.
11/6/2011 02:50:18 PM Report AbuseMy age is 32yrs, i have a son (8yrs) studied in 3rd standard, but in 10yrs of my marriage i was two times to conceive normally but it was miscarriage. In four years to till date no issue is to be conceived....but in this time i need a another baby for the companion of my son. I really tensed how i will get pregnant .....
11/3/2011 05:49:34 AM Report Abuseok so i'm 25 and my son is 4 we have been trying to have a 2 baby for like a year now off and on.but my period does not come every month but is was like that when i got pregnant the first time.w was not trying so now that we want a 2 baby it's hard what should i do i get really sad and see my son playing byhimself.i see other girls have like 3 kids and no job r nothing and i'm like y can't i havwe one all u can do is pray.
10/17/2011 05:27:57 PM Report Abusei been trying to get pregnant about 5 months ago but it seems nothing happens.
9/2/2011 09:29:06 PM Report Abusei am in england , secondarily infertilty is give double blow here as no treat if you got one childm ! My and my partner have been try for year and half despite repeated trip to doctors i am told your over weight lose it and you will conceive . i am total destroy but watch my son and him constantly looking for someone to play with people often say why you upset you get your son . I am take loads herbs and natural remades to help all i can do is pray
5/18/2011 04:10:15 PM Report Abuseto all women please read. we were trying for 8 months and recently got pregnant. i went to the dr. and got pap, ultrasound, bloodwk, to see if i was the problem. i was fine. we did want embarrsament of him going to dr. to check sperm count. There is a home sperm count kit, cost $40. we used it; to find his sperm count was very low. afterwards we started him on a herb to increase motility and mobility of sperm. after 2 months of taking daily we got pregnant. email tyner.phyllis@gmail.com
8/29/2010 08:09:18 AM Report AbuseMy husband and I have a 7 yr old daughter and have not been able to get pregnant again since she was born. After having her, we opted not to go on birth control and figured we'd let nature take its course. Here we are and our daughter will be 8 in a couple months. For the past 4 years, we have been through infertility tests and treatments. The specialists haven't found anything wrong with either one of us, its just unexplained infertility. Anyone in my same situation?
8/11/2010 08:20:56 AM Report Abusetlparker 7 if you come back to this site. I would love to chat with you. I am in your same boat. I have a 2 year old daughter and have been trying to conceive to over a year. our daughter was an oops. So of course we thought that getting pregnant would be a simple thing. NOt at all. We lost a baby 2 months ago. I totally feel the same way. NObody understands the hurt adn the pain. my email is freudenburg@gmail.com,
4/8/2010 10:10:20 AM Report AbuseMe and my spouse have been trying to get pregnant for a year and so with no luck. It is very depressing and I catch myself crying so much along with prayers. I want to be able to give my husband a child. Cause he has a son but due to different circumstances he was robbed of being a father to his child cause of negative baby mama's. And I understand his pain. Now that I am happily married to him, All I want is to see him happy but I don't know what is the deal with me not getting pregnant.
3/16/2010 10:10:40 PM Report AbuseI am so happy to have found this. My husband and I have a two year old and have been trying to have another baby for a little over a year. Our child was concieved without trying. And it is so hard to not being able to get pregnant. You have no one else to speak to, other than your spouse, because most people don't understand.
12/29/2009 10:00:26 PM Report Abusei think i might be pregnant again even if i didn't miss my last period
12/7/2009 09:22:34 PM Report Abusei was pregnet 5 weeks ago i lost my baby at 5 weeks and i will like to get pregnet again but am scare that i will lose my baby again how long shude i wait?
10/13/2009 10:08:11 PM Report Abusei have a baby off 7months n i have not been protecting my self but i don't seem to get pregnant n i don't have my period what could possibly be wrong with me.i have simptoms but the test always come out negative
10/7/2009 05:18:19 PM Report Abuse