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The Best Time to Have #2 (or 3)
Not long after the babies in my daughter Mirabel's playgroup turned 1, several moms stopped losing their baby weight and started, well, expanding again. As one woman after another announced that she was pregnant with Baby #2, the rest started wondering aloud: Is it too soon to have the next one? If not now, when? It seemed as if some of us just took the plunge, while others were trying to figure out the optimum timing.
No one needed to ask my opinion -- I was already sporting maternity cargo pants at Mirabel's first-birthday party. I can't claim to have been intentionally ahead of the curve on family planning; I just got, ahem, surprised. But happily so. While I initially panicked about the effects that the arrival of a new baby would have on my family at that point -- will Mirabel be shortchanged on attention? Will I get eight hours of sleep any time in this decade? -- I'm relieved by how well all of us have adapted. Granted, there were some crazy days (and nights), but nearly two years later my daughters are fun-loving buddies, the Lucy and Ethel of the preschool set.
Like me, most women I've talked to about spacing siblings say they can't imagine a better scenario for their family than the one they've got. Still, they also have a lot of wisdom to share about the highs and lows of having their little ones close together or farther apart. If you're feeling conflicted about how long to wait, consider their experiences -- it might help you decide whether you should keep the baby monitor by your bedside and your ExerSaucer in the playroom or stow them in the back corner of your basement for a while longer.
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I have a 5 month old daughter and i'm really wanting to try again for another baby, problem is my sister in law just found out shes 6weeks pregnant...I've wanted to try again for months but I wanted my daughter to be atleast a year old when the new baby would be born, I just wonder if I should start trying now or if I should wait a few months because i'm not sure how everyone would feel if I got pregnant right after she just found out...i'm so confused, not sure what to do...what would yall do?
2/28/2012 07:36:29 PM Report AbuseI am an only child. My husband has 2 siblings. We have a son and I'm currently wondering if I should have another baby. I would like another one because I didn't like being an only child. My husband wants to keep our only child because he thinks siblings are overrated and because he worries that splitting attention would make our son less special. What should I do?
1/5/2012 03:05:56 PM Report AbuseI have 3 children right now, and all 3 are 11 months apart. I want more children, yet I wasn't quite sure how long to wait to have another. My oldest (4) is already asking for another brother. How long do you guys think is a good age to try again? My 3 are: 4 boy, 3 boy, 2 girl.
11/22/2011 12:05:46 PM Report Abusegiordan.. Is there a reason why he's saying that? How did he react to his dad having a baby? Does he say that it's because of lack of attention?? Maybe you can reassure him that he'll still get that one-to-one time with you and your husband. A majority of the time, older children express negative feelings towards a sibling because of their thoughts on losing time with you, and the baby gets all the attention &they'll be pushed away.
11/22/2011 12:04:33 PM Report AbuseI am remarried, pregnant with #2. My son is 11 and his dad and step mom just had their #2 on Monday. I am dreading telling my son that I am expecting. I was a single mom for a long time with him (6 years) and he has already expressed that if his stepdad and I have a child, he will NOT be happy. I am trying to make him change his mind. Any suggestions?
9/30/2011 11:32:48 AM Report Abusei have a 3 yr old son, & somehow my husband & i had decided to focus our attention (& money) on our little bundle. but recently i have started feeling strongly about another baby. i havent discussed with hubby yet, since i myself am confused about it. at times i feel as if im not as good a mother as i shud b (or rather as my mom is) & so how can justify (even if its only to myself) another child....im confused & troubled, any help from those who've been there??
8/23/2011 01:40:44 AM Report AbuseI just want another because my daughter said she wanted a little sister
5/23/2011 10:47:00 AM Report AbuseI'm glad my husband and I both agree that a second child would be a horrible idea.
5/9/2011 10:30:51 AM Report AbuseThey downplayed gender issues. It's sexist but older brothers 3 years apart is no good for girls. My bro and hubby resented their little sister. Girls are 50/50 but boys are consistent. I'm sure there are exceptions. Parents must nip thi in the bud towards younger sisters or it festers into adulthood and your kids will barely talk to each other except when required. It won't be your daughter's fault, she won't understand why big brother doesn't like her.
3/29/2011 02:25:12 PM Report AbuseMe and my hubby have a six year old, a five month old, and (surprise!) are expecting number three in June. Our babies will be less than 11 months apart. I hope they will best friends. I am already trying to decide when to have number 4. Probably not for 3 or 4 years!
1/8/2011 03:34:41 PM Report AbuseIf YOU want another child, go for it. But do NOT do it just for your husband because it will make you bitter and thus make him bitter, and God forbid you two end up taking it out on the kid or even resenting him or her. A child is not a present to make hubby happy. Like Tabithab said, if you have the money, the patience, the love and the will, then definitely go for it. If you lack even one of those elements, do not pop one out just to squeeze a smile out of your hubby.
1/3/2011 05:27:58 PM Report AbuseIf you guys can afford having 6 children, and stay happy and content, I say go for it! Ask the kids, see what they think. They are part of the family too. But what is one more child :)
1/3/2011 03:18:15 PM Report Abuseyou should have another one for your second husband. i know that by then you're going to have 6 kids but by having 2 of his, it will only make him a happier husband for you.
1/3/2011 10:26:16 AM Report AbuseI am a mom of four and am expecting number five in July (or sooner if she wishes). While this is my first child with my soon to be second husband, we are wondering if we should have another one after this one. This is his first child. My other four are 13, 11 (they are 18 mths apart), 8 and 7 (they are 15 months apart). I am 34 and he is 41, so if we have another, we want to do it soon because of my age.
6/23/2010 05:41:40 PM Report Abuse