What to Do
If you've miscarried before, you'll need extra support from family, friends, and health-care providers this time. Your husband might need additional attention too, if he's been experiencing powerful and troubling feelings. Sometimes it's more difficult for men to know where to turn for help and how to ask for it. Here are some good sources of support:
- Your partner: It's especially important for you and your partner to talk to each other about what you're feeling. Honest communication helps you appreciate each other's viewpoint and encourages you to pull together rather than apart. Who better to turn to than each other for the compassion you need?
- Doctors, nurses, midwives: Whether or not you seek a more medical approach to this pregnancy, you certainly should expect extra attention from your health-care provider. For instance, your provider can indulge you by seeing you more often, if you wish. Sometimes, all you require is a little reassurance that everything is progressing smoothly.
- Private childbirth classes: You might feel out of sync in a conventional group class. If you do enroll in a group class, be sure to let your instructor know about your personal situation. She may be able to connect you with other couples in the group who've also had a similar experience. Since about one in every five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, you will probably not be alone.
- Internet support groups: Thanks to the Internet, you have access to round-the-clock miscarriage support forums such as chats, message boards, and e-mail loops. Visit the americanbaby.com community for a warm, friendly environment where you can find moms who share similar experiences and concerns.
You may wonder whether you ever could -- or should -- love your newborn the way you love the baby or babies you lost. You may feel conflicted, but allow yourself to feel love for the new child. Loving the new baby does not replace the love for the child who was lost. There will always be a special love in your heart for the baby that could have been.
All content here, including advice from doctors and other health professionals, should be considered as opinion only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.