Crying Times: How to Soothe Your Baby

Babies cry. It's in their job description. Your task as a parent is twofold: to interpret the wails and to figure out how your child wants to be comforted.

If he isn't sobbing because of an obvious trigger (such as hunger, exhaustion, or a wet diaper), then it's time to dig a little deeper. "You've got to become a detective and investigate what he's trying to tell you," says Alice Sterling Honig, Ph.D., professor emerita of child development at Syracuse University, in Syracuse, New York.

Even more important than determining the cause, though, is finding a way to calm your child. There are a number of methods that should be a regular part of any new mom's repertoire -- swaddling, playing mellow music, using an infant swing, offering a pacifier. But if none of these are helping, it's time to branch out. The sound of the vacuum cleaner always settled down my oldest son. With my second child, a leisurely car ride around the neighborhood was the surefire fix. Until, one day, it wasn't. Because a baby's soothing needs may change over time, you'll need to stay flexible and get creative. Check out some of these surprisingly effective ideas from moms and experts.

Seize the Moment
Listen for a lull or a pause in your baby's crying, then pick him up and comfort him before it starts again.

Why it works: This technique, known as quiet training, gives your child an incentive for positive behavior. "When you pick him up during these pauses, you're saying, 'I am paying attention to you, and I love you,'" says Robert Epstein, Ph.D., a psychologist in San Diego. Plus, by not rushing to pick him up when he's crying, you're teaching him how to self-soothe, whether it's by sucking his thumb or closing his eyes to shut out the world.

Retreat
Take your baby to a quiet place, dim the lights, and cradle her until she stops.

Why it works: Infants get stressed out too, though for different reasons than adults do. "A baby's brain can't deal with all the stimulation in her world," says Meg Faure, a pediatric occupational therapist and the author of The Babysense Secret. This is especially true during the late afternoon and evening, when the cumulative effect of all the sights and sounds she's encountered during the day can start to overwhelm her. When you remove her from the noisy toys, barking dog, blaring TV, and family chatter, she'll finally have a chance to chill out. In the future, try giving her little calming breaks throughout the day.

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Get Out
When Lucy Rosenberg's twin babies were both bawling uncontrollably and she'd exhausted her other soothing tricks, she'd take them for a walk or to the park. "The sudden blast of fresh air made them open their eyes and look around, while the smells and the sounds of the outdoors relaxed them," says the Clarkston, Michigan, mom.

Why it works: Infants can tell the difference between indoors and outdoors right from birth, and they appreciate the change of scenery. "Being inside all day can make anybody groggy or cranky," says Dr. Honig. "The warm sun or a breeze feels good to a baby." Spending time outdoors may even help your child sleep better at night. Just make sure he's dressed appropriately for the weather and shaded from direct sunlight.

Press "Play"
Buy the White Noise Baby app, which has 17 soothing sounds, including a conch shell, a car ride, and wind chimes ($1; for iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch). Not that plugged in? The Graco Sweet Slumber Sound Machine ($33; google.com/shopping) lets you choose from a dozen nature sounds. You can also get Baby's White Noise Sampler ($14 for the CD or $11 for the MP3 version; purewhitenoise.com), or download free sounds online at simplynoise.com.

Why it works: Rhythmic sounds mimic the womb and make your baby feel secure, explains Faure. However, since every child is different you'll need to see which ones do the trick.

Get Close
Stroking your baby's skin may help her get over a crying fit -- and might even prevent the next one.

Why it works: Skin-to-skin contact is soothing and reassuring to babies. "Touch increases the feel-good hormone serotonin and decreases the stress hormone cortisol in your baby's body as well as your own,? says Tina Allen, a certified pediatric massage therapist in Vancouver, Washington. When she's upset, place her against your chest so she can feel your skin and hear your heartbeat. When she's less fussy, try some gentle massaging, moving your hands from her chest toward her arms, from her hips down to her feet, and down along her back. "This will help you both relax," adds Allen.

Tag Team
Sometimes leaving your baby in someone else's hands for a while can make all the difference. It might be Dad's football hold that helps him drift off to sleep or Grandma's gentle bouncing that quiets his cries.

Why it works: It's natural to hold your baby the same way every time, but he could be craving a change. When Sandi Sullivan, of Villa Park, Illinois, had a hard time soothing her baby one day, she asked her spouse to give it a shot. As soon as he stood up and propped little David up on his shoulder, the crying stopped. "Maybe it was the positioning, or it could be that our baby likes heights, since my husband is 6-foot-3," says Sullivan.

Originally published in the March 2012 issue of Parents magazine.

All content on this Web site, including medical opinion and any other health-related information, is for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be a specific diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual situation. Use of this site and the information contained herein does not create a doctor-patient relationship. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.

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