You're thrilled that you're pregnant, but you feel guilty because your friend has been trying, unsuccessfully, to conceive. She even seems cold toward you ever since you announced your news. What should you do?
You'll only hurt the friendship more by ignoring the elephant in the room. Instead, "take your friend aside, be empathetic, and say something like, 'I'm so sorry, I know this must be difficult for you,' or 'I know you've been trying to get pregnant and I'm sorry it hasn't happened yet,' " says Keith Eddleman, M.D., coauthor of Pregnancy for Dummies. "Your friend is justifiably frustrated, and it'll help if you acknowledge her feelings." Try to be sensitive and patient, and, whenever possible, avoid discussing your pregnancy in front of her.
If, despite your best efforts, your friend is always sulking and taking her bad mood out on you, speak up. She may just think she's venting about her problems and not realize that it's coming across as a personal attack. You may even need to take a break from the friendship if the situation doesn't improve. After all, you're allowed to be happy about your pregnancy and you want to surround yourself with people who share that joy.
When you announced your first two pregnancies, you got congratulations and hugs. Now that you're having baby number three, people just tell you you're crazy.
With four children ages 4 and under, Jill Graziano, of Washington, D.C., is used to the rude comments. "A day doesn't go by that I don't hear, 'Better you than me,' " she says.
"If someone says you're crazy for having more than two children, say something like, 'I am, I'm crazy about kids,' " says Post. "Then change the subject." Whatever the situation, don't feel as if you have to explain yourself. Simply saying, "This is the right number for us," or "We're thrilled to have another," are good ways to put the topic to rest.