My Secret to Soothing a Crying Baby

I was trapped in a new parent's nightmare. Isla, my week-old baby girl, was crying inconsolably, and absolutely nothing I did could get her to stop. With each squall, my panic grew in the way only a sleep-deprived, hormonal postpartum mom's can. I was convinced that something was terribly wrong with my baby, and I felt like a failure for being unable to fix it.

I vaguely remembered a friend telling me that when her baby was particularly fussy, she turned on the faucet; her daughter loved the sound of running water. In fact, a book I read while I was pregnant had mentioned that the white noise of a household appliance often quiets babies because it mimics the ambient sound of the womb. I was about to pull my hair out, but instead, I pulled out my hair dryer. I plugged it in and flipped the switch.

The effect was instant. Isla's eyes widened and she was spellbound, as if listening to the world's most beautiful symphony. Her crying stopped immediately, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I even patted myself on the back. What a clever mommy I was! Whenever my daughter got fussy I could console her with a flick of a switch! I was Wonder Mom, and my styling tool was my cape.

The dependable hair dryer took up permanent residence in our living room. It never failed to work its magic. My husband and I eventually developed a routine to comfort Isla: Pop in a pacifier, start the hair dryer on high, and after a few minutes, when her sobs began to subside, lower the setting. I even bought an app for my phone featuring a recording of a hair dryer that I could use when we were on the go. It was, hands down, the best $2.99 I ever spent. When friends came over, I turned on the hair dryer like it was a party trick, reveling in their admiration at my ingenuity. I might be having a difficult time breastfeeding, I thought smugly, but keeping Isla happy is a cinch.

I was hardly the first mom to learn that I could comfort my baby with white noise, but to me, it was the equivalent of discovering fire. In finding a fail-safe remedy for Isla's tears, I felt a seed of confidence in my parenting ability, a realization that I might actually be able to do this mothering thing after all.

However, my husband started to think the hair dryer cure was, well, a bunch of hot air. "We need to soothe her on our own," he admonished. "I am soothing her," I retorted. "I'm the one flicking the switch!"

Still, weeks turned into months, and I used the hair dryer less and less as I became more attuned to Isla's needs and found other ways to comfort her. I'd distract her with her reflection in the mirror or sing her favorite song. But my handheld hero was always in my arsenal, ready for me to wield when nothing else worked.

Then when Isla was about 3 months old, she was having a particularly fussy day. We rocked, we swayed, we sang, but nothing hushed her. Time to bring out the big guns, I thought, confidently grabbing the hair dryer, switching it on, and waiting for her to settle down. Her eyed widened as they always had -- and then she wailed even louder.

I was about to cry myself. I knew the hair dryer might lose its magic at some point, but I had hoped it wouldn't happen so soon. Like many intense love affairs, Isla's infatuation had come to an end. I tried my trusty appliance again several times in the following days, but I had to face facts: Isla had outgrown the hair dryer just as she had her rapidly tightening newborn-size clothes.

I realized that this was the first of many things that would lose their allure for my daughter. She was developing so quickly! The hair dryer had been a useful crutch as she navigated life outside the womb, but it was one that she no longer required.

And neither did I. I'd learned that my daughter's cries aren't the end of the world or audible proof that I'm a bad parent. Things may get hairy, but I can handle it.

What comforts your baby? We asked readers for their unique, no-fail soothers:

• The vacuum cleaner: if he's screaming and I turn it on, his tears stop instantly. -Nicole VandeBoom
• I downloaded an app that plays the sound of crashing ocean waves. It works every single time I play it for him.
  -Amanda Duarte
• My 3-month-old daughter is soothed by the sound of the breast pump's motor. -Priscilla Stone
• Both of my children love having their ears cleaned. Gross, yes, but it puts them right to sleep! -Kimberly Vaughn
• No matter how upset my daughter is, she's always soothed by Taylor Swift. No other singer works. -Meghan Reeves
• I run my pointer finger from the top of her forehead down to the tip of her nose. I can do this to my husband, and his eyes get heavy too. -Traci Schuh
• Classical music worked for my colicky son. -Sofia Koza-Topp
• Rubbing his head. -Stephanie Bautista
• My husband's and my old driver's licenses! As long as she's clutching them, she's completely fine. I don't know why! -Christine Chestburg

Originally published in the June 2011 issue of American Baby magazine.