The image of Mother that we have filed away in our head -- selfless, always caring and available -- is hard to live up to. Although you're in love with your new baby, you're not always in love with how much work it requires to care for her. "I felt guilty about enjoying my newborn best when she was sleeping," recalls Jessica Engelhart, of Hoboken, New Jersey, mom to Julia, 2 1/2 years old. Moreover, the pervasive idea that your life should revolve around your baby can breed guilt when you go out alone with your spouse or, horrors, do something for yourself. "I feel guilty when I do things like getting my hair done," says Deborah Moniaci, of Brooklyn, New York, mother of 5-month-old Gabriella. Though, she adds, "when I actually do something for myself, I come back feeling so refreshed and rejuvenated, I'm happier to see my daughter. So I hope that I remember those feelings for the next time."