"I learned the power of touch."
Kate and Daniel Raidt
Married 6 years
Parents of Conley, 6, and Bodie, 3
Kate: Four or five times a week we make a point of snuggling on the couch after putting the kids to bed. We used to sit in separate chairs and read the paper. Then I read The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. It made me realize that Daniel feels love through touch, so we needed to sit closer to each other.
Daniel: It's true. Back rubs, massages, and cuddling make me feel appreciated. Kate, on the other hand, responds more to affectionate and positive words. In the past, this created some tension between us because I didn't get the physical contact I need, and I tried to show Kate my love through touch instead of compliments, which are what she needs.
Kate: We were speaking different languages. So one evening I sidled up to Daniel in his "man chair," and his face lit up right away. It created this intimate moment where it was just the two of us. Since then, I've noticed that he responds much better to talking about finances or work issues when I'm holding his hand or rubbing his back rather than sitting across the room.
Daniel: The fact that Kate took the time to understand me better makes us feel closer than ever. It's also inspired me to give her what she needs to feel cherished. Now I'll say, "Thanks for cooking dinner, honey," or "I'm proud of the hard work you've done this week." Kate doesn't need gifts, but she likes to be recognized for what she contributes to our marriage, family, and kids.