Is Your Marriage Normal?

It's normal to wish that your husband were more like that husband.

However, this is a sign that something important is missing in your marriage. For instance, on that day I saw John kiss his wife, I realized that I craved more tenderness. So I told Mark that I didn't always feel beautiful or sexy and that I'd appreciate his saying and doing things to make me feel that way. Fortunately, he accepted the challenge, and now he whistles whenever he catches me walking around in my panties, calls me "Hot Mama" in front of other people, and makes a big fuss on the rare occasions when I wear makeup and heels. How did I get those dramatic results? I'll share my strategies.

Point out other great husbands. But do it in a positive way. Whenever you notice a husband doing something nice, mention to yours, "Wow, that was really sweet. I bet she's going to make him a happy man later tonight."

Be honest about what you want. Men (and women) can be seriously clueless. If you need more "me time," ask for it. If you want help with the housework, say so. And when he does what you want, be sure to thank him.

Voice your desires with compassion. If you bully him, he'll resist -- but if you calmly express your wishes, he'll probably try to make them come true. When I want Mark to do something for me, I sit next to him, smile, put my palm on his thigh, and keep my request to three sentences or less. For instance: "Honey, could you help me with bedtime duty? I'm exhausted."

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