|
|
 |
|
Marriage After Baby: Problems and Solutions
Shortly after my son was born, I became obsessed with a question that had nothing to do with babies: Why was my husband so annoying? Here was the person I loved, with whom I had just pulled off the miracle of creating a life and...I wanted to kill him.
How had I failed to notice that he didn't know how to make a bed? Or that he was such a Nervous Nellie he would have to line the floor with pillows before he'd lie on the couch with the baby? What's worse, he was annoyed beyond comprehension by me! My habit of eating while nursing (and dropping crumbs on the baby's head) grossed him out. And my previously lauded spontaneity was now a fatal flaw called disorganization. The house was a mess and so were we.
Making the leap from coupledom to baby-makes-three is exciting, exhilarating, and wonderful. It's also exhausting, exasperating, and worrisome -- a combination that can be toxic to the romantic relationship that made you parents in the first place.
The bad news first: Maintaining a marriage post-baby takes a lot of time and energy, exactly what you've got the least of right now.
Now the encouraging news: Working on your relationship pays off in spades. Without all that energy expended (read: wasted) growing resentful of each other, you'll have more to spend enjoying one another. (Yippee!) Here's advice from experts as well as couples in the trenches on why this transition is so hard and what you can do to smooth things out.
Now that there are so many more household chores on the agenda, you and your spouse may both feel like the other's not pulling his or her share of the mother lode.
What do you think of this story? Tell Us.
|
Related Links
|
Comments
Please confirm your comment by answering the question below and clicking "Submit Comment."
I have the same problem. My husband is the one ignoring me too. my husband does the same thing if the baby even made a slight noise, he's there. no love no romance he doesn't even want to talk to me :(
4/18/2012 12:26:29 PM Report AbuseMy partner has become sooo selfish since the baby was born. I feel like he only thinks of his needs and wants and not mine and the baby's. He buys what he wants, makes life changing decisions with his work and doesn't even ask me how my day is...he only complains for hours about his. I try setting a date night but he refuses to go out. He won't do the things I would like and refuses to eat at a resteraunt so I'm always stuck cooking. I resent him so much.
1/27/2012 01:04:45 AM Report AbuseThis story is spot on. Me and my husband have become very resentful of each other; me thinking he is lazy and doesn't help out enough around the house and him saying he doesn't have enough time to get everything I want done. I think we may try to do as recommended and set up a chore list and schedule so he doesn't have to read my mind!
12/30/2011 08:05:51 AM Report AbuseThe article is great but my problem is different. We will abroad in Qatar so i don't have any help and my husband comes home very tired and i do all the houseshore and baby stuff on my own. On friday his day off i can sleep but he won't feed the baby or change the diaper which makes me feel upset.I am tired and i need time for myself, take care of myself.
10/4/2011 01:15:11 AM Report AbuseMy husband is the one ignoring me. I had to have a kind of emergent c-section, and when we came home I found myself struggling to try to get into bed and he just stands there looking at me and not offering to help at all. But I can say if the baby even made a slight noise, he's there. I'm just trying to hang in there until I am able to do more.
8/24/2011 12:33:25 AM Report Abuse