Why You Should Love Your Husband, Faults and All

When you're a working mother with two kids and a husband, it's no 'easy' picnic. I was a single mom for more than 10 years and it was a lot easier than being married with two kids. But not everyone's experience is the same, so why not try to empathize with your friend instead of berating her?

I've done it both ways. I was all on my own when my daughter was born, and living on an impossible budget. Life as a wife and mother in many ways is harder though. My work load has easily doubled. That said, I love my husband and he does help me. It's worth it to be with someone who loves my me and my daughter. I have another baby on the way now. I anticipate doing it all and whatever he does to help will be a bonus.

Just, because a WIFE wants to vent about her husband to her "SINGLE-MOM" FRIEND, does not mean that she doesn't love her husband, SHE JUST NEEDS SOMEONE TO TALK TO. By reading this article, I can see WHY you are a single mom! Know one know's what goes on behind closed doors in someone else's home. I think a wife has EVERY RIGHT to vent. It is HARD HARD HARD, being a wife/mother, AND CHILDREN DO NOT COME WITH A SET OF INSTRUCTIONS! Neither, does marriage. I HATED THIS ARTICLE.

"Hello, Kettle?.....This is Pot..... You're Black!" Ironically the article is one big ranting/complaint about other women complaining. The person who wrote this is certianly not the most empathetic person on the planet. Read with my husband. We both laughed quite a bit and agreed that the writer has a pretty antiquated sense of what people should expect from their spouses.

this article is grossly dismissive.

this is soo true!!! as "awful" as they may seem they truly are just as much of a blessing as that sweet bundle of joy you're fighting over.

A husband that doesn't want to help h with his own kids is better than no husband-not a great option. Why do women need to constantly lower their standards and accept less? The author sounds like a worse complainer than her married friends. She is bashing other women in an effort to make them appreciate what they have. The idea of getting women to appreciate their husbands for the good that they do is great, but the execution of this article is terrible.

You know I used to hate the expression We're pregnant. WE cannot be pregnant, I am pregnant. Then one day I sat back and thought of all my husband has done for me. Back rubs, nagging me to rest, allowing me a few food indulgences, and foot rubs. I realize just how much he goes through with me and how much he has put up with. Now when I talk to people I say we are having a baby. He might not be able to take all the aches and pains, but he carries a lot of the weight nonetheless.

I am so in love with my husband not that I needed this article to recognize.. I am 4 months pregnant and he is such an amazing help I could cry at how blessed I am. It did not take pregnancy to make him amazing fortunately he started out that way. I tell him everyday all day long how much I adore and cherish him, it is nice to be able to express it here as well because I think I overwhelm him with my adoration sometimes and I need to vent it! Thanks!

Hey. If the article speaks to you then great. If it's not your situation then you can't relate, get over it! I agreed with some and rolled my eyes at others. It's just a article.

This was a great article. Even though yes our hubbys can drive us crazy there are some pretty awesoem ones out there. i was married before and my other two kids dad did nothing to help me. But my husband now does a lot. Im six months pregnant with our first and he will do pretty much what ever I ask. Ive been reaslly grumpy because i also suffer from bad rhumatiod Arthritis and cant take all my meds. so Im supper grumpy on top of it. This was humbling to me. i do need to appreciate him more.

Loved it! Really made me shake all the wahs I have about my husband and look at him as the man I fell in love with!

I often get so aggravated because I work full-time outside of the home and come home to an evening full of work as well. After reading this, I did realize I need to tell my husband how much I appreciate when he lets me sleep in on Saturday and takes our son to the park instead. Soemthing as simple as him keeping an eye on our son while I cook dinner is a HUGE help. I used to think being a single mom would be easier. I know better now.

To blueyeangel812:your ignorance & self-rightous is appauling. I have been a single mother twice, not because I got pregnant single, but because we were married, planned our child, then he checked out. I would rather be a great single mother than a married unhappy hag! You better be very careful you may come to eat those bitter words. Many single mothers are that way because the father is able to just walk away!

After reading all of these comments I have to say that my husband rocks!!! And I just sent him a text to let him know that I love and appreciate all that he does. Having been a single mom prior to meeting him, I know how hard it is to raise a child on your own. I am grateful that I now have someone to help share the parenting load. He is a great father to our 3 month old and an awesome step-father to our 11 year old.

Nice article...

In response to jmarion.goss: The author is not being sarcastic and she doesn't come across as being bitterly jealous. She did state that she has received numerous calls from her friend complaining...COMPLAINING!! That is so negative and drains people of their energy. It is much easier to find the positive in any situation and keep the needed energy to do other things. The author needed her energy to tend to her child. Not listen to a whining, pessimistic, unappreciative, so called friend.

In response to blueyeangel812: not all single mothers were unwed at the time of conception. I happen to be a single mother as a result of divorce. Your ignorance and lack of compassion and mercy for those more unfortunate is revolting and precisely the reason why people can see bad things happening around them but because of their biased thought processes, they develop hardened hearts and do not help where help is needed. The world needs LESS people like YOU!!

Great reality check! While I do have a fabulous husband, I don't always appreciate him and his help like I should. Realizing that it is so much harder for other mothers makes you be appreciative. Thanks for the great article!

If you act like the relationship, the children or the home is a chore, then you are bound to foster resentment. There are moments when my 3 yr old says mommy, cuddle with me and I am busy and I really don't want to and then I think about it...this is the joy of being a parent. Do all things with love...cook dinner with love (men too), Clean the dishes with love, bathe the kids with love, cuddle and read books with love. Love breeds love. Loathing breed loathing.

This article made me stop and think. I am 4 months pregnant with my husband and mines first child and things have not been the easiest. I have been dealing with a lot of new emotions and not feeling the prettiest and this has been affecting our relationship. This made me stop and think about all of the wonderful things my husband does for me. When my husband gets home tonight, he gets a kiss and a big "I love you" for being the wonderful man he is. Thank you for making me stop and think!!

I gotta say, I totally understand what the author means here. I'm not a single mom myself, I'm currently 5 months pregnant with our first baby, and hubby is being an angel. But I do have a sister who is a single mom, and I know how hard it is for her. No matter how annoyed I might get at my hubby in future when he makes some parenting mistake, I will take a deep breath and forgive him, remind myself how truly lucky I am and that I'm not perfect either.

To the ladies who understood the concept of this article KUDOS! We have great husbands...we just sometimes forget about the great stuff because we're focusing on the bad and irritating stuff.

I hate seeing women man-bash. You knew what he was like when you got with him. You just made the mistake of thinking you could change him or that having kids would change him. And it doesn't nor will it ever!

Now if you have one of those husbands who won't do anything and has been from the beginning with the first child...THAT'S YOUR FAULT YOU STAYED AND HAD MORE CHILDREN WITH HIM. So stop coming on here whining about your problems. Do something about them! The author is trying to show those of us who are taking advantage of our men...that we are taking advantage of them and sometimes need to relax and stop expecting perfection.

Nicely stated! Although it is true that some husbands truly can be worse than none, and some exist that don't provide any help but financial, many times we do take our good husbands for granted. They are not perfect, but that is not what makes them worthy of our appreciation. Their mere help, listening, and attention can be priceless.

Which one of us if perfect enough to judge that anyone else is not doing the best they can with what they have at that moment?

ok this article is somewhat true.. we probably dont appreciate the "little" things our men do and we should. but at the same time the baby is no more the mothers than it is the fathers responsibilty to take care of him/her. why should the moms have to do so much more taking care of the baby especially when we did all the work carrying and bringing him/her into this world!

I was actually really excited to read this article because I thought it was going to be sweet and loving. Instead it was just... angry. Not that my husband doesn't do all of these great things- he does- but I don't love him because he's around to do housework. I love him because he's an amazing, good person whom I respect deeply. If my only reason for keeping him around were to fix the faucet, I'd hire a handyman.

Wow. The author sounds like a great friend. A buddy calls to vent and instead she's met with sarcasm and bitter jealousy. I think we'd get along.

Simply put- this article is so so true! I love it..eventhough my hubby and I are seperated and I complain about him all the time! It's inspiring and I jus texted him to say "thanks for all you do"......Hubby's are underrated.....

Im sorry some people have bad marriages, but negative comments about the artice r not right,(its not the the articles fault) She is just pointing out that theres always someone who had it worse! and there is believe me. And I have ALOT OF RESPECT FOR SINGLE MOTHERS. Because I know that I couldnt do it alone. You dont know them and no matter there situation they have incredible strength. Thank You Parents for this article it was a great one!

My sons father(No, were not married)and I had a troubled relationship.He was Not the perfect man BUT I was not the perfect women either. We put our faith in God and he got us through it, and help us both realize our faults. We still dont have the perfect relationship but at least we can let our pride down, work it through, forgive n forget.Sometimes I feel like one of those complaining women, but the writer is so right, and I am glad he's here for his son.

denisewalker67, you said it girl! I have been with the same man for 15 years, we're pregnant with our third child. Things do get tough, but if you hold on it usually blows over. Right now, I'm having a really hard time with him being distant and insensitive to me, but I know this will pass. I hold on because more good times are coming, just not right now.

If you read what she said, she choose to have a baby being single and she said she knew what she was getting into. That doesn't mean she went out and had sex, she could of had AI (Artificial Insemnation) a lot of women are doing it now days. And sometimes I think being a single mom would be better then having a man with you. At least in my case.

I have no sympathy for single mothers. If you choose to have sex you choose to have a child. And if you have sex with someone you don't 100% love and trust and you get pregnant, whose fault is that? And I know someone will ask, "But what if you're raped?' *rolls eyes* I'm EXCLUDING that situation because how often does that happen? Really.

I don't believe in being grateful with what you have, because sometimes its just not good enough.

Congratulations & Thank the higher power to those women who have great, mediocre or up to your standards husbands!

so for the women who have husbands that don't give their wives money & your doing everything even if your married, etc.. who are going through the same problems, speak out and complain. You have that right. We gave the ultimate sacrifice & that is to have these children by these men! We couldn't help that we loved them in the beginning & they turn out for the worse later on. Its not our fault some times! He has a allot to lose! This concludes my comments.

As you can see I have "Husband Issues", that why were in the process of child support while legally married & in the process of a divorce. Ive been trying to help him for three years & I have tried everything! He doesn't want to help himself. The only reason why it last this long is because me being a woman always feeling like I have to try or I don't want to fail or I have to work this out. Well its not one sided! I've done my best, I have no regrets & I don't feel like I failed.

And he throws it up in my face to contribute 50% of finances, How!? Then when I say I'm putting our son in daycare he tells me I cant make those kind of decisions on my own. Where is an article for emotionally unstable husbands that have issues with them selves and they dump it on there mates & children. Then come to you to help but wont put the work in to get helped because they have to much ego or pride!

Thats the reason why they are the way they are. We let them slide with too much nonsense. My husband is very insupportable, he doesn't give me back rubs before during & after pregnancy. He doesn't give me money & he doesn't want me to work, because he wants our son to be able to talk before he goes to a daycare, I agreed.

If the lady who wrote this article just put the baby to sleep and her husband (if she had one) yelled "touchdown" and woke the baby and he was still watching his game and she hasn't had any sleep herself and shes left with the crying baby, I'm sure she still wouldn't be so grateful. Lets be real!

Why let them right? well I didn't let mine, I made him & it was a fight every time. To the point of me threatening to put him on child support! There are husbands out there that don't do anything like mowing the lawn etc. Its time to break these guys out of their mold!

It sounds to me that this person writing the article even knowing well of whats to come when being a single parent still yearns for a man & she will take yours. Who would want a husband who thinks that its okay to throw the baby in the air in play without supporting his head. I was the one who did everything & I'm married. I'm speaking out for women who have husbands like this, we have a right to complain! Wheres an article for that? Get real lady!

I have a fantastic husband and really do need to tell him more often. For all those other women that complain about their husbands not doing anything, why do you let them? I can't understand how one puts themselves in situations in which you have to deal with a selfish or lazy person by choice. Most people know, before getting married or having children that their man is like that so why put up with it? Demand some more help. Men are only going to get away with however much you let them.

Im not married yet but I live with my boyfriend we have a 2 year old girl and a 6 months old boy and i do all the household chores Im a stay at home mom and yes he is the only one working but he should still help with chores and things around the house and for as much as i do 3 minutes back rubs dont make it better as someone else comment sometimes i wish to be a single mom and be the only one making the decisions I know that he can do more he is just to lazy to do it.

hey there iam a married woman of two girls and it aint easy but haveing a good man by your side is a good thing iam a newly wed..lollll and things gets tuff after a wile and things get back in place like it never happend,,,, i mean if you have children with your man and you have problems with him try to fix it because your children are watching at all times if he lovess you and he didnt do any thing so horrible then kiss and makeup its worth it.....

Women who have sons need to take note...litte boys who are taught to be helpful and respectful of women grow up to be men who do. I bet many of these same women who are complaining about thier husbands are picking up after their sons...in another word training them to be just the same.

LOL! I have been on both sides. I have a 16 year old that I was a single mother to for 11 years and I have a 2 year old with my husband of 5 years. Both situations have their pros and cons and it depends on the husband which is better or not. Just because a man holds the title of "Husband", doesnt make him a help when it comes to raising a child.

And these are all the reasons I stayed with my child's father. Except, he is abusive and I was finally strong enough to take on AAALLLLL of this responsibility myself, and give him the boot! It sure is tough being a single mom, however at least now, I don't have to worry about my little one watching mommy get choked over which cheerios he was fed.

I wish my husband would help me. He don't change diapers and dosent like to give the baby his bottle. This is our second child and he was that way with the first also. He dosen't help with housework either. I work 8hrs a day, get kids from school and daycare, clean house and cook, do homework, give kids bath. I have a 6yr old and a 4month old. I do it all. He says that all he is suppose to do is work at work and that's it.

Thanks for this. I'm on a terrible meltdown and was actually looking for a way out of my marraige because of serious financial reasons, but I have the most helpful husband and after reading this article I cried. I'm at work and had to go to the bathroom because I feel so bad.... Now I have to refocus. Thank you

This made me cry - i can really be a witch! I should stop , be more intimate, and maybe he will help out more? Worth a try anyway - it is good :)

Rewind a year ago - same thing but different with the exception that I was no doubt helping my boys muster up some lousy excuse to insure our "laundry service" didn't quit. All that said, two is better than one, even if for moral support, provided both parents are engaged and at least making effort.

Just this past weekend, I was "barking" at my older two about picking up after themselves and reminding them to get their dirty clothes to the laundry hamper - "if you don't pick up your dirty clothes, I'm not washing them." Almost immediately, my wife reminded me how familiar that sounded and that I was officially getting what I was due.

I'm a stay-at-home dad of 3 boys - a 9 mos old, 7 & 9 and can't imagine how difficult it might be to be a single mom/dad. Obviously, my wife's and my relationship is very egalitarian. However, having been on both sides of the equation, as both an involved dad and full-time caregiver, I believe it's inevitable that the person staying at home feel somewhat slighted every now and then. Doesn't make it right but it just happens....

I think i can only credit him with going to work and making sure we have shelter. the rest (and i'm not exhaggerating) is all up to me. I feel like a single mother most times. I guess my point is that, besides going to work for income, I am a "single mom" and I know exactly how the author does. be thankful that your husbands do what they do, because their is always someone out there that has a husband who is more like a child than a father.

i alway change his pull-ups, i always feed him while my husband sits on his a** playing video games. I don't think he even cares to watch our son whenever i need to go to the dentist or just want a break. I would love for my husband to make mistakes, when he takes care of my son, but he doesn't do anything.

You know, I would love to say that my husband does all of the house work and helps me with my son any chance he can whether he do it right or not. The truth is, that my husband makes me get up at night to take care of our toddler at night every time, i put our son's furniture together and i change the lightbulbs.

Thank you for pointing out the things I did not realize. My husband and I have a beautiful 4 1/2 month old who is teething. I always yell @ my hubby for not doing things 'my way'. He is home every night, takes over on the weekends, does the night shift, daycare runs & housework. Thank you for letting me see that he is AWESOME. Tonight, when he gets in from work, I will greet my hubby with a big kiss.

He states he is excited to have baby coming into our lives and then decides not to come home or call whenever he feels like it. I never really know where he is at. His family never knows either. When he is home, he will put lotion on my belly and seems like he cares about me not carrying heavy things. I just do not understand why he doesnt call or answer his phone when he lies to me about where he is going, never shows up and never calls to say he is ok and for me not to worry.

My husband and I had an "explosive" communication style over mundane issues similar to Julie's diaper cream one. We recently went to a therapist together and discovered that we just don't talk about our feelings well or often enough with each other. I have discovered that it is so important to be open to making time for a non-judgemental talk about these things together: listen, forgive, try harder next time. It makes it easier to forgive the little mishaps that are bound to occur in the future!

This article makes a good point about being grateful, but doesn't properly acknowlege the whole perspective of 2 people parenting. It is tough to raise a kid on your own, but easy too because you call all the shots yourself and have complete control. What is not recognized here is that it is tough to work together with someone else on the effort :) In a partnership we both need to feel supported adequately, otherwise we feel slighted and the relationship suffers.

I am with rainamerkel and others. I love my husband dearly, but until I gave in to a riding lawnmower about 2 mo. ago, I did the mowing 95% of the time (I still mow where the big one can't reach), I change the light bulbs, and...backrub, what backrub. Don't get me wrong, my husband is an excellent provider and loves to play with the kids and more, but when it comes to the daily stuff, he goes to work, I get the rest. I go to bed later and get up at the same time or earlier. My day never ends!

I mowed the lawn last week. I change the lightbulbs as needed. I don't bring in the 10 ft ladder to reach the chandelier, I climb onto the nearest chair. Guess I should check into changing that air filter! Yes, 6 mths pregnant with our second child. Maybe a bit hormonal. Would love a back rub or an offer for a run to the store to feed one of my cravings, or a foot massage......

Ugh. Another "men are doing the best they can so we should just love them and forgive all else" article. Men already idolize themselves, ladies. Maybe, just maybe if my husband actually did a few things without being asked, he would get some slack for doing things wrong. But when I have to ask 10 times and write out exact instructions and he STILL screws it up, and I STILL have to come behind and fix it, then I may as well be single most days. If I messed up as often, our son might not be alive.

I see what you're saying but my boyfriend doesn't do any of that. I basically am a single mom and the only thing he does do is give him kisses and hugs and occasionally holds him while I make a bottle. Then he rubs in my face that he's working and I'm staying at home. He's too involved with his video games (he's 22)to really help me.

we all have flaws, I have flaws and you have flaws. That said, I will complain if I want to, I just want to feel like my husband appreciates what I have put my body and mind through, not just for nine months but every day now. I want him to want to spend time with us. I want to share the things I love about this with him and for him to do the same with me. I want our child and myself to be more important than the Lakers game. If you think just having a warm body around is enough,it's not =(

I am 5mths pregnant with my husband's 1st child. I already had a 8yr old previous to marrying him. I sometimes realize that I tend to fuss and complain ALOT about everything that my husband is "not doing right". I have to stop and remember to be grateful;thank my husband for being loving,caring and so-o supportive to me(and our 8yr old). I thank him for loving me and being patient. When I can't think of anything nice to say to him, I just tell him he's a good man - and that he surely

I am 5mths pregnant with my husband's 1st child. I already had a 8yr old previous to marrying him. I sometimes realize that I tend to fuss and complain ALOT about everything that my husband is "not doing right". I have to stop and remember to be grateful;thank my husband for being loving,caring and so-o supportive to me(and our 8yr old). I thank him for loving me and being patient. When I can't think of anything nice to say to him, I just tell him he's a good man - and that he surely is.

Am 5 and a half months pregnant with baby No.2 and i feel the ladies who have their hubby's but feel it is all left to them. I seriously feel that if I was single and not expecting the help,I do better than having one who just watches me do it all. My hubby has not changed any of his ways in terms of stepping up and doing a little more since am needing help everyday. Only God knows what will happen when the baby gets here. I get really worn out of having to tell him what to do for me.

I fell in love with this article! Every word was so true! I've been married for almost 7 years and we've had our ups and downs and im now pregnant with our 3rd child. He also has a son from a previous relationship. My husband is a wonderful man and a hard worker. I dont always see that. Thank you for writing this so I can appricieate my hubby a little more each day.

Mu husband is currently in afghanistan..Baby is due in september and the hubby will officially be home wen our baby is 6 months old..I could never complain about him...he doesnt have to be home to help me out...I am grateful for what time we do get with each other and he gives me all the emotional support i need. I honestly would love to have my husband home weather he helped around the house or not!

Kudos! I loved this article! I don't know what happens, but the second people (mainly females) join the marriage club that they feel that they have the duty to find fault in the people that are the most precious to them. I am SO grateful every day that I have a loving, caring (not to mention hot) husband, but I am even more grateful that I have the wisdom to recognize it. Thanks for sharing this.

if my boyfriend ever changed diapers or took out trash.. or you know, did *anything* other than go to work and then throw it in my face that he is the one earning money to pay our rent.. well then, i would be grateful. but i'm not loving his "faults and all."

I was a single mom from the time I was 7 months preggo til the baby was 5 months old. When my husband first came back into our lives, he was great, he helped out and I was happy with it. Now I feel like I am a single mom to 2 babies. I do the lawn, I clean the kitchen, I do everything and he just sits there. I don't even get a backrub to signal he is in the mood, I get something hard pressed against my leg.

I am a single mom, my hubby let me and my baby for a any woman how have three kid and very day he come and said that he love or he when to be with my but i do not truns him anymore what should I do about it now

Thanks for writing this! You made me see things in a different light, and it looks like the other commenters feel the same way!

While it is not an excuse for her I think she is still being affected by the hormones. Either that or she just needs to get in touch with reality. I know that I have been guilty of that during this pregnancy. After thinking about it I usually realize it and apologize. I am thankful for the help because I was a struggling single mom with my first son and my husband is now a WONDERFUL replacement dad for my son. Hopefully she reads this accidentally and has an eye opener.

wow!! i love this,, it made me realize,,, i love my boyfriend!!! and he does do alot for me n my son!!!

This brought a tear to my eyes too! I definitely take my husband for granted. He is an awesome dad and I should really show him my appreciation more. I love him so much and often wonder how single parents do this alone. There is no way! Thank you for reminding me of how lucky I really am.

Since my son was born I've just wanted my own space, I've felt under appreciated, when i guess I've also been guilty of under appreciating. my man has slept on the couch for 6 months, maybe it's time he comes back to bed with me. I know he loves me and he dose his best, it's not his fault I'm hormonal and never satisfied, right? I never met my father and it's important to me that my son has his father in his life. I don't want to drive him away by being blind, thank you for opening my eyes.!!!

It acually brought a tear to my eye when I read the part about how he does all the household chores I never think about. Like changing the air filters and mowing the lawn. I feel like I do soo much while he gets to leave for work everyday, but I really appreciate not having to climb into icky places with spider webs, or get dirty, or take out the trash. Ive been taking my man for granted and hes getting a big hugnkiss when he gets home from work today!

Im not married yet but I live with my boyfriend. During the week I have the job to take get up with our 4month old son at night and on the weekend my boyfriend gets up with our son and lets me sleep. And after reading this its made me totally fine with just having that exstra sleep! It made me feel ALOT better. :) THANKS!!

A refreshing look at a mans place in the eyes of a mom and baby. I too have my moments of I wish you would just do this and Please just let me sleep for once hunny. Though I must say, I dont have many mom friends to complain to, but I sure am happy to have my man here at all. Thanks for the positive outlook on this oh so tough time.

I would just like to give this article five great big shining stars! I have been taking for granted all of the wonderful and amazing things that my husband does for our family and me and I have been so focused and upset about all the things he hasn't done. Thank you for giving this reminder, I am sending all my mommy friends this article.

Thanks so much for this great article. My husband and I have been going through some though times lately and I needed to be reminded of all the little things he does. Just because I am feeling overwhelmed does not mean he is not doing a great job and his share of the parenting and other stuff.

this made me think back on when i was in the hospital. i had to have a c-section and my man wouldn't even let me out of bed to change our daughter's diapers or anything. he always handed her to me when i wanted her and he still took care of her when i went to postpartum depression. we both been stressed out lately and i forgot all that he did and still does. thank you so much for helping me realize this.

This really makes me want to give my husband the biggest kiss when he gets home from 3rd shift in the morning!!! Thank you so much. :))