Why Sex Gets Better
The common wisdom is that sex makes little babies and babies make for little sex. However, there's an astonishing flip side to this story, and it's one you rarely hear. Before parenthood, couples often think sex gives meaning to the rest of their relationship, says Elisa Morgan, president of Mothers of Preschoolers International and coauthor of Children Change a Marriage (Zondervan). But the truth is that many women report that their sex lives are better after they become mothers.
Better sex after motherhood? Who knew? Lots of women, it turns out. Simply sharing the experiences of parenting makes it possible for couples to discover new reasons to desire each other. Many women say that they feel an incredible new respect and love for the father of their children.
And surprisingly, there are many physical changes postpregnancy that may make your sex life better than ever, too. Sensory experiences after childbirth can be more intense, says sex therapist Sallie Foley, coauthor of Sex Matters for Women (Guilford Press). Certain women enjoy the additional sensitivity of their engorged breasts while they're nursing, she notes, while others claim that although orgasms may take longer to achieve due to fatigue, the sensations can be more physically profound.
Cheri Van Hoover, an assistant clinical professor of nursing at the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine, speculates that increased blood flow during pregnancy increases pelvic congestion of the vaginal area and engorges the genitals -- perhaps permanently enlarging blood vessels and making the genital area more sensitive to stimulation.
Rediscovering your sexuality after motherhood provides fresh opportunities to deepen your understanding of yourself as a sensual being and to explore new levels of intimacy with your partner. Read on for some tried-and-true tips to get you feeling sensual and sexy again.