The Hormonal Stay-at-Home Mom
Kids: Seven months pregnant with first child
Married: 4 1/2 years
8 a.m. Wake up to sweet note from husband next to pillow. "Our baby is so lucky to have you as a mom." He's so thoughtful.
9 p.m. Mother-in-law didn't wish me a happy Mother's Day, so I unleash fury on poor, unsuspecting husband.
10 p.m. Discover stretch marks on breasts. Freak out. Husband: "They're just red marks from your bra." Know he's lying, but it's a sweet lie.
Midnight Husband: "Pregnancy has brought out everything I love about you times 10." Makes me want him, but I'm too exhausted for sex. We cuddle in bed with his hand on my belly. Feel closer to him than ever.
9 a.m. Wake up feeling frisky, but husband is at work. Use trusty vibrator.
10 a.m. Husband calls to tell me he misses me. Don't tell him I used vibrator; it'll just tease him. He always wants me to save my sexual energy for when he's home.
12:45 p.m. Meet old coworker for frozen yogurt. Boobs leak. Turn bright red.
7:30 p.m. Eavesdrop on pregnant woman at restaurant. Pregnant woman: "We have sex every day, and I think that's pretty good considering how big I am." You've got to be kidding me.
10 p.m. Watch movie starring Christian Bale. Feel like giggly 13-year-old girl again. Husband sleeping. Darn!
9 a.m. Still feel like having sex. Must wait nine hours till husband gets home!
11 a.m. Stand behind cyclist wearing spandex shorts at Starbucks. Can't stop staring at his perfectly round butt.
7:30 p.m. Husband initiates sex in the shower. He thinks pregnancy is super sexy. Trying to balance belly and one leg in the air without slipping is very difficult.
9:45 a.m. Get friendly with myself again. Am I becoming addicted to vibrator?
12:30 p.m. Woman looks at my frozen yogurt, then my belly, and smiles. Feel fat.
9 p.m. Watching Lost with husband. Bet on outcome of episode. If he wins, he gets a sexual favor. If I win, a massage. Shoot! I lose.
10:15 p.m. Naked in bathroom when realization hits me. Me: "I can't see my vagina anymore!" Husband: "Don't worry, I'll keep any eye on it." I laugh.
10:30 a.m. Best ... Sex ... Ever! Breasts leak everywhere.
11:30 a.m. Lie down for post-sex siesta.
9 p.m. Pregnancy is wearing me out! Husband massages me. Love him.
2 a.m. Dream I'm having sex with Johnny Knoxville. Hope subconscious picks a more romantic sex partner next time.
Dr. Hutcherson: "Strong sexual desire and frequent fantasizing are not very common in late pregnancy. Increased blood flow down below could be the reason for it. It's wonderful that she's still having shower sex."