You don't need anyone to tell you how radically your body's form and function have changed. A few days after childbirth, your breasts become so filled with milk, you may feel like someone has replaced them with a couple of unripe grapefruits. Not only do they often hurt, but they also look pretty bizarre. Grace Mulroney of Allentown, Pennsylvania recalls, "My engorged breasts were more ridiculous than Pamela Anderson's were before she decided to have those implants removed."
To add to the discomfort, during the first months of nursing, your hormones will be in an uproar and your nipples will get so much action they'll probably sting. Even if you had any desire to be fondled, it's likely your breasts will leak milk when your husband touches you.
This combination poses a vexing sexual dilemma. Here you are with a delightfully alluring bosom, with no interest in having your husband touch it.
What's more, breastfeeding suppresses ovarian estrogen production, says Cathy Winks, the other Sexy Mamas coauthor, "and this decrease in estrogen can lead to less vaginal lubrication. Vaginal dryness can make having sex uncomfortable even after you've completely healed from soreness, childbirth stitches, or tears."
So how do you make love with a whole new body? Until your breasts adjust to nursing, "it's perfectly okay to offer your husband a 'look but don't touch' rule," suggests Semans. Some couples even find that putting breasts off-limits leads to new erotic thrills. For instance, try making love sitting astride him while he takes advantage of the view. Or encourage him to masturbate while looking at your bare breasts, and you can put a vibrator to good use at the same time.
To overcome vaginal dryness, keep a tube of lubricant handy, and you can cut back on milk baths if you make love when your breasts are less full after nursing or pumping. Partners who feel comfortable with nursing may even find creative ways of incorporating breast milk into lovemaking, perhaps by helping you hand-express milk to avoid leaking, or using the milk for extra lubrication when your vagina is dry.