New-Father Fears

Worry #5

"When will I get my wife's attention?"

The first few months of parenthood take a toll on everyone, but they're a lot worse for moms. We get that you're overwhelmed and not exactly feeling super sexy. Still, the lack of affection (which includes sex, since men can scarcely separate the two) is tough on us. Moms still enjoy a degree of intimacy through their interaction with Baby, but dads can feel like the third wheel.

Help Dad Deal: If you know your honey is hinting for lovin' and you're not in the mood, remind him that cuddling and kissing can be an end in itself instead of a part of foreplay. Try using his obvious desire to get him to take on some additional household responsibilities ("Meet you upstairs after you load the dishwasher, honey"), which will reduce your burden. Feeling relaxed can leave you more receptive to romancing.

I learned that the fastest route back to the bedroom was by doing chores -- without being asked. Smothering MJ with kisses and telling her how beautiful she was got no play. But when she came home to a sparkling kitchen one evening, she knew I had stopped thinking about my own needs and become a full-fledged member of Team Parents. It wasn't long before we got cooking in the bedroom again.

Originally published in the June 2011 issue of American Baby magazine.

Parents Are Talking

Add a Comment