A Word of Thanks...

Adolescents typically focus on themselves, but it seems you've gotten them even more in the habit. Doing things for Mom is low on their priority list, and you need to move yourself up, for your sake and theirs. Start with simple, clear requests ("Please put the beef in the oven at 4 so it's ready for dinner"), and make sure they stop chatting on the cell phone or actually look up from the computer and acknowledge you. Say something appreciative ("I'm glad I can count on you") and leave a note to remind them so there won't be any excuses later. If you come home to find the roast cooling in the pan, thank them. Telling your kids they're doing something right is the best way to get them to do more of the same. But if the oven's cold, impose a consequence -- in this case, tell them to make their own sandwiches for dinner. Keep driving home the message that families are teams whose members support one another, and reward your kids every time they help you or each other.