Gotta Have It: A Cure for What Ails You Post-Baby

You love being a new mama -- how did you ever live without those munchable toes and those baby-chick-soft curls? But here's what you could live without: Cracked nipples, yucky hemorrhoids, and that drier-than-the-Sahara feeling down there. You're really not looking forward to that next trip to the drugstore -- it's gonna be a red-faced one.

With a hearty helping of "if you don't laugh, you'll cry," Least Likely 2 Breed's new body balms offer a two-for-one dose of comic and discomfort relief. The salves contain all-natural ingredients that soothe postpartum maladies: "Mother Effer's Va-J-J Jelly" lubes up your dry nether regions (big caveat: it's oil-based, so you can't use it with condoms), and the "Tough Titties Nipple Rub" alleviates pain from nursing. The "Roid Rage" offers relief for -- you guessed it -- those icky 'roids. There's even a "Bad Ass Booty Balm" for baby's diaper rashes. Best yet, you can order them from the blessed anonymity of cyberspace.

The tins make a cheeky baby shower gift -- pick them up in a set to embarrass your favorite mom-to-be.

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