More Questions to Consider
4. Am I willing to make changes?
If your relationship seems to be teetering on the edge of destruction, ask yourself how willing you are to change. In situations like this, it's common to believe that your partner is the one to blame for the problems. While there's probably truth to that, it's likely just as true that you also play a role.
Go within and find out how willing you are to shift your perspective and be responsible for your share of the dynamics that are tearing you and your partner apart. Are you willing to make some changes to your own habits and behaviors in order to turn things around in your relationship?
5. Is my partner willing to make changes?
Your partner also plays a role in your relationship troubles. Think about the actual words and actions of your partner. Has he or she indicated a genuine willingness to change? Have you seen any observable follow-through on promises?
This is especially important if your partner cheated. Be on the lookout for signs that he or she has stopped the affair and is being more open and transparent with you.
6. "What sources of support do I (and my children) have?"
Regardless of what you decide to do, make sure you have a support system in place. Think about the kinds of support you and your partner need so that you can make lasting changes that will improve your relationship if you stay together. Go ask for or arrange this kind of help.
Think about what you need to ease your transition from being in the relationship to being out of the relationship. Go to friends, family, professionals and anyone able to give you that support and ask for it. Think about what can help your children.
It's probably best if you don't see yourself as the only source of support for them right now. Find people that you trust to provide your children with a listening ear or a space to just let loose and maybe have some fun. Support is key. Give yourself the specific kind of support you need so that you can make the best decision for you and your family.
Make the best decision for your situation, yourself and your children. Relationship coaches and authors Susie and Otto Collins have written Should You Stay or Should You Go? as a guide to help you decide what your next step should be.
Originally published on YourTango.com; republished with permission.
Copyright © 2012 Meredith Corporation.
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