12 Reasons Fathers Might Not Want to Spend More Time with Their Children

You Believe Parenting Is Your Wife's Responsibility

You may believe that parenting comes more naturally to your wife than to yourself. She's got the maternal instinct. Mothers raise children. That's what my mother did. Women just know what to do with children, how to be with them, you believe. And so you rationalize your relative lack of involvement with your children by subconsciously saying to yourself, They're better off with her anyway.

Furthermore, many men believe that parenting is mostly the female's responsibility. If you accept this notion, then you may not feel completely comfortable being an actively involved father because you will have entered a feminine domain. Fathering might actually detract from your sense of masculinity. Until you incorporate nurturing and attachment to your children into your male ideal, you will feel that attention to these aspects of life will actually weaken you. Have you noticed that when most men get together in order to bond and affirm their manliness, they speak about four topics -- sports, money, work, and sex? Children are what women talk about, you assume. Unfortunately, the quality of your relationship with your child does not garner you the esteem of your peers. Will you be strong enough, secure enough as a man, to fly in the face of convention?

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