The Baby I Never Expected

What a beautiful story! I believe every child deserves a life! That is why I denied the amniotic fluid test for down syndrome and retardation. I declared at the doctor, "I will love this baby no matter what he turns out to be." This story brought tears to my eyes! These children are miracles and should be cherished! I love this story! <33

You mourn the loss of the dreams that you had of them going to college, getting married and starting their own families. Everything is replaced with a big question mark. You also have fears of your child experiencing isolation or not being excepted by their peers. It is heart wrenching to know the definate challenges that are ahead of her.

I was blessed in July of 2001 with a beautiful daughter Rylee!! at 13 weeks I knew she was going to be Down syndrome and yes every mother goes on a roller coaster ride, but when you finally accept it, it all makes sense!!! I would never change my life, because without Rylee I would never know "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!! She has brought joy to everyone she meets, she is my special angel and God knew what he was doing when he sent her to me!!!

Very beautiful story,I had a abnormal quadscreen test.the doctors told me if i wanted to end the pregnancy,my chanses are 1 in 100.my other option was a amino but i'm not taking the risk.i'm very scared because i don't know what to expect but i trust god and let it be his decision.

I have a 13 year daughter with Downs syndrom...I knew at 13 wks she was a girl and had trisomy 21. I chose testing and had a ultrasound..this I did to find out what(doctor wise)to take care of her issues...I NEVER thought anything other then Thank You God for a girl!! I have never told her she has downs... She is treated like her brother. We have our trials like any 13 year old daughter on hormones..She reads, writes, does math, memorizes anything! God made her just the way he wanted her..

What a beautiful article and so honest emotionally!!

... But a child with DS has just as much right to be born as the one with asthma or peanut allergy. If science will be able to diagnose all the inborn problems before birth, shall we abort all of them and leave only the ones that meet the standard?

...Also there just some disabilities are more acceptable than others. It's our internalized fear of illness and death. A gorgeous healthy child can be born and something may happen and s/he will be disabled as well physically and mentally. There is also an element of self-blame perhaps. If a child suffers head trauma, it's an accident a tragedy. But DS is looked at as if parents are to blame.

When I was told that I have a higher risk to have a DS baby just b/c I was 35 was shocking enough for me. I can only imagine learning that your child has a disability when you deliver. I think it is just our culture of denial and obsession with perfection is the problem here.

Every mom wants a healthy child. But in the society that emphasizes physical beauty and perfection especially in babies, the grief of a mother whose newborn deviates from the acceptable "norm" doubles. No matter how much love she feels in her heart, the realization that her world will not be a picture perfect saddens her.

My son was born with Down syndrome (we didn't know) in January. If you have not been through this experience then you cannot judge someones initial reaction to the shock. Reading Kelle's blog helped me with my emotions during all of this. It is a very surreal experience (mine is almost identical to Kelle's)and there is a grieving process. It's very scary when you first find out. My son is the love of my life but I still cried when he was born. Don't judge unless you have been there.

I am extremely upset that anyone would be offended by this.She was brave enough to tell the truth.How can you be prepared for something you don't expect?To say that she would have terminated had she known is such a silly and inconsiderate thing to say.She would have been prepared.It was a shock.Just because she grieved does not mean she did not love her.Do not be ashamed of or for her,be ashamed of yourselves.

This article made me indredibly ashamed for this woman. As the mother of three wonderful boys, one of whom is autistic, I will admit to tears but not for myself but for my SON. The quality of life he would miss out on, the frustration he would feel, and for this woman to actually feel like telling the world what she felt even one moment for your child...how does she think her daughter will feel reading them one day? Kelle TMI. A child is a child and I pray you know that now.

Thank you for writing this article and being brave enough to put it out there. I have a son that lives with autism. Although I was not aware of it until he was two - I felt many of the same emotions. Still do sometimes. I love him with all my heart.

This article really touched my heart. I am so touched by her honesty.

I have 2 sisters with DS and work at a school for children with severe needs. Even with the experience, if I were to find out I was having a child with DS, I know I would have at least one day where I felt sorrow. Individuals with DS can be a joy to be around, but can also be extremely challenging and have numerous health and behavior issues. If Kelle didn't know anyone with DS beforehand (and seriously, how is that her fault?), I don't blame her for being scared. Stay strong Kelle!

I find her to be very courageous and brave to say this! Our baby was diagnosed with DS around 20 weeks, and there was a little grieving for the future, we were also faced with the fact that our baby also had a hole in her heart and was going to need surgery after birth. We were so scared, and just when we were starting to get excited and joyful again she was stillborn at 35 weeks. I would give anything to have her here, what this lady was feeling was normal.

This article scared me. I am 6 months pregnant and had testing done because I am 37. I didn't realize you could have a baby with down syndrome and have absolutely "no idea" My hormones are taking over, but it scared me to death. Now its all I have been thinking about.

I am very upset that several people took something negative away from this article. Like another poster, I BEG you to read her blog. To suggest that she would have terminated if she had known beforehand, that she was concerned with the way her child looks, is ridiculous. What you read was raw emotion, her first reaction. She described Nella's appearance was the first thing that made her realize she had down syndrome. She put herself out there, which took a lot of courage. PLEASE, read her blog.

Thank you for that wonderful article. I too cried when I was reading her words and felt her emotion through the pages. I think she was so brave to share her true feelings and thoughts. She has a right to how she feels; it does not make her selfish, it makes her human. I never felt she did not love her daughter she was just grieving the loss of what could have been. We have all done this in our own lives and should not be so quick to pass judgment on those moms around us doing the best they can.

This was an AMAZING article. I bawled my eyes out. It was a beautiful and honest portrayal of what we'd ALL go through. I didn't doubt for one moment she didn't love her daughter, she was grieving for the loss of the dreams she had in place, and had to fully grieve before she could create and love new dreams. One strong Momma right there. The article was beautiful, your daughters are beautiful.

Our oldest son is 8 and has DS. We had no idea until he was born too. Of course we were shocked, but DS was nothing compared to the now 15 surgical procedures he has had since. We can't imagine life without him and couldn't be prouder parents.

I have a 3 yo son with downs and we knew from the begining he was going to B special but we never thought twice i wonder if nella would be here today if her mom had known i don't think so. but that is just my opinion my son is 1 of the 3 best things in my life the others being his older brother @ sister I belive that this woman was one to keep up looks and that a child with a disablity has just ruined her perfect image of family i hope she learns some humility and realizes that lif isn't perfect

I suggest ALL of you read her blog, www.kellehampton.com. This woman has made me a better parent, wife and friend. She DOES understand how very precious and special Nella is. She shows the world how you can grow as an individual by adressing her HONEST reaction to DS, I, for one, am no longer scared to have a baby with "an extra chromosone". I beg that you read her

I think it is unfair to judge this women and her story. All of us come at life from very different places and as mothers we certainly know on any given day things do not go as planned. The very fact that she was so open with such raw emotion is very brave. Our hearts take us where we need to go, no matter how low down and dirty it can get. Being willing to follow is what life is made of, where the sweetest marrow of love lies. You go, girl.

This article made me angry as well. The author went on a seven hour self-pity crying jag because her newborn daughter wasn't perfect? Boo hoo! My 66 year old aunt has Down syndrome and her mother raised her during a time when such children were expected to be institutionalized. If someone questioned her, she told them off. Ms. Hampton has obviously led a sheltered life and has never been around someone with Down syndrome. She doesn't realize how 'normal' they can be!

My daughter was born with Craniosynostosis. I know that there are HUGE differences between DS and Cranio, but I also know that feeling of "What happened to my perfect fairytale baby?" Judging this woman for being open, and sharing real, honest feelings is horrible. I commend Kelle for writing the words that so many of us cannot bring ourselves to share because society, and others out there, dont want to believe that people can REALLY feel that way, even if it is just for a moment.

Words cannot even begin to describe what I felt and what I said ( which i can not repeat) about this article after I read it. This woman made me ANGRY, SAD and broken hearted.Having a daughter with a severe mental disability,I'm praying that this mother got some help with her serious issues.All I can feel is sorry for her and hopefully she is enjoying every single milestone,as small and slow as they might be to the fullest.

This article broke my heart. Having lost twins, I would have given the world to have them in any state. To grieve the loss of your "normal" baby because now you've got one that's not your idea of perfect makes me want to scream.

I can understand how this women feels. When I read this story my eyes welled up. I tried to hold back the tears but I could not. My daughter is 6 and has Down Syndrome. I was 25 when I had Alyssa and we had no idea. It is almost a grieving process of not having a child that is " normal" what is normal? I think part of it is that you think of the future...and what is to come. It's not the dissability you cry about, it is what's to come in the future.

Faith in Jesus will make your family stronger!& from a sister's prospective: it will be such a good life!such a fun life,&the little things won't be looked at the same way ever again! :)

I have 3siblings,2have Down's.when my mom &dad were told their first born had down's they didn't even know what it was;will he walk/talk/function?will he live through the night?Kelle-u will see that Lainey will b Nella's biggest fan &fiercest protector!we r the people we r 2day bcause our parents loved us equally &unconditionally,&the only way was 2 start on their knees in prayer.

This is beautiful story. When your little girl was standing with Jesus and looking down from Heaven, she saw you and your husband and told Jesus she wanted you for her Mommy and Daddy. That is what my daughter tells me about my grandson Chase. It's an honor to have a very special special child. You have a beautiful family...And she will learn from you and you will learn from her.....

I absolutely bawled while reading this story, like to the point I could see the words and had to find a box of tissue. I found Kelle's story so honest and inspiring.

I was a little shocked in reading this. As the mother of a child with a disability I cannot say I did not initally grieve at the fact that my daughter was not as I expected. But I knew that she was born the way she was meant to be and I was chosen to be her mommy because someone knew I would be strong enough to help her.