How to Raise the Question of Legal Guardianship

More Tips on Selecting a Legal Guardian

2. Let It Settle

Set this person at ease -- let her know that you don't expect her to make a decision right away. Assure her that you know this is a significant thing to ask, and you'd just like her to consider it for now. Suggest getting back together in two to three weeks to discuss the answer, and tell her that you're open to discuss any questions or concerns she might have in the meantime.

3. Bring Up Finances

The person you've picked might understandably start factoring cost into his decision, so you need to allay any fears he might have about that. Make him aware of all the ways you plan to leave your child in a secure financial state (through life insurance, inheritance, etc.).

If you've decided to select a different person to be the guardian of the estate -- or the person who will manage the money left to your child or for your child's benefit -- make that fact known now. (Not sure how to pick that person out, either? will help you figure it out. See Related Features, below.) Assure this person that you understand money might be a factor in his decision, so you've set up a trust to handle everything you're leaving for your child.

To avoid offending the person because you aren't asking him to handle the finances as well, you can note that he is exactly who you want providing love, care, support and inspiration to your child if you aren't around, and that the role of a guardian is the most important. To make it easier for him to do that, you've eliminated any financial issues that might go along with it.

4. Discuss Your Concerns

Yes, you think this person is the perfect match for your child -- but that doesn't mean you don't have any reservations at all. Now is the time to voice those. Are there any issues in this person's life that worry you (say, the fact that she's a smoker)? Would you need certain reassurances (for example, that she'll do her best not to move too far away from where your kid already feels settled)?

Have an open and honest conversation about what you will expect from this person as your child's guardian, and then, if and when she accepts, you can feel assured that the person you've chosen will do everything in her ability to raise your child the way you would want her to be raised.

Originally published on; republished with permission.

Copyright © 2012 Meredith Corporation.

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