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Thrive in 2025: Help Your Son Succeed in School
Alex was a typical active, exuberant 5-year-old boy, but his preschool teachers didn't approve of his energetic personality. "They worked hard to calm him down," says his mom, Susan Giurleo. "The teachers didn't appreciate his busyness and thought his academic abilities were below average, even though he knew all the colors, the entire alphabet, and how to count to 100." As a child psychologist, Giurleo was reasonably sure that her son didn't have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), yet Alex continued to have behavior and performance problems at school.
Lots of boys do. Statistically, they're at least four times more likely to be expelled from preschool than girls, and they're twice as likely to be diagnosed with a learning disability or to be held back at some point during their education. Girls rule in today's classroom. On average, they have outperformed boys in standardized reading and writing tests for years and have recently caught up to boys in math and edged ahead in science. Indeed, the gender achievement gap grows over time. Boys lag in almost every subject by middle school and are four times as likely as girls to drop out by high school. Now, more than 58 percent of all U.S. college students are women, who obtain the majority of associate's, bachelor's, and master's degrees.
Why are boys being left behind? In part, it's because they start out at a disadvantage. "Three out of every four boys in a typical kindergarten class are more physically active and developmentally immature than the girls are," says Parents advisor Michael Thompson, Ph.D., coauthor of It's a Boy! But schools (including many preschools, which have shifted their emphasis to academics rather than teaching social skills) may require students to quietly complete worksheets rather than let them run around and play. This trend has made the classroom a far less friendly place for boys. Understanding the obstacles in your son's academic path is critical for helping him thrive -- now and in the school days ahead.
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I am a mom of 3 boys who we have "red shirted" since day one in school. Not a big deal to them and ultimately, they have an years advantage. We tried public school but found that the teachers (mostly female) teach to the girls and disciple the boys for note sitting still. So we moved to a private school that recognizes the learning differences and embraces them for who God made boys to be.
2/21/2012 05:27:39 PM Report AbuseA great article. My son is three and he goes through the issue mentioned in this article already. The daycare teacher told me that he is very smart but if he doesn't learn how to sit and pay attention he will have a hard time in kintergarten. Its sad to see the education is not "boys friendly" anymore.
12/14/2011 11:16:16 AM Report AbuseI thought this was a great article....one in which I shared with others. I teach kindergarten, so I see so much of what this article shares about the active behavior of boys. It is our job as educators to provide these students with hands on activities that keep them stimulated and active in their learning. I have found that using music can be very helpful. In my class we do a lot of music/movement activities that the children all love, especially the boys.
11/13/2011 09:12:50 AM Report AbuseWow, the alleged science in this article is way off. Where's the evidence that girls' frontal lobes are more active or serotonin levels are higher than boys? It's just made up, by peddlers of books about a boy crisis. Girls and boys do differ, but the differences are much greater within than between the genders, as tacastle56 points out. Parents, if you believe this, you will be stunting your sons as much as parents who thought their daughters couldn't do math. -Lise Eliot, PhD
9/17/2011 07:55:21 AM Report Abusethis is an excellent article that can help parents identify appropriate school environments that are better suited for boys' academic and social development. very helpful.
8/24/2011 08:58:19 PM Report AbuseI love this article and the full article in the may issue. it makes me more relax not to get upset over moms of girls who rave about their intelligence, if by nature they are different, its as if im to rave about how much stronger and more muscles my sons have then a girl...
7/7/2011 02:29:51 PM Report AbuseTheir attention spans are fine. They reported teachers who were inept at their subjects and who thought doing worksheets and repeating back lecture concepts meant "achievement." Nothing is farther from the truth. Observing natural phenomena, learning to experiment, taking things apart to see their inner workings, and synthesizing new solutions . . . that is learning. And it works better for all children.
7/6/2011 08:21:34 PM Report AbuseThere is no reason to force children to "sit down and learn" or to commiserate over boys' "short attention spans". It is the design of today's educational model that is failing children, although it seems that girls have adapted to it better. My sons and I had SATs over 1300. However, my school time in the 1960s & 70s seemed more enjoyable and fulfilling than my sons' (in the 1990s/2000s).
7/6/2011 08:20:36 PM Report AbuseI had to type "a good man is hard to find" in order to submit my comment. If that indicates what this forum is about, I can see a need for an alternative viewpoint. Very weak, people.
7/6/2011 08:10:50 PM Report AbuseI joined here just to dispute so much of this biased article. It seems strange that my father (a high school science teacher and farmer), myself (an engineer with MBA) and my four sons were all reading before we entered kindergarten, given the reported limitations of our male brains. Or did it have something to do with how we were introduced to reading and other pursuits?
7/6/2011 08:08:48 PM Report AbuseMost teachers do a great job and the best they can given larger class sizes and other obstacles. We as parents are the ones that need to step up and be more responsible for our childs education. How many parents can honestly say that they work with their children acedemically. Too many of us are putting the emphasis on sports and our jobs.
6/21/2011 10:12:17 AM Report AbuseI was hoping you would have some actual suggestions which would help prepare boys for school rather than just explaining the problem. My children are grown now, but I am very interested in the education of my grandchildren. As a former 1st gr. teacher and tutor, I can say colleges should do a much better job of teaching elem. ed. majors and administrators how to cope with and correct the problems, so boys have a better chance in school.
5/14/2011 02:53:39 PM Report AbuseMany teachers are just out of touch with high tech, high energy boys. Sadly, some of these female educators bring their male issues into the classroom, passing their mistrust and dislike of men onto their male students. Boys disconnect with the educational process early on. They learn that school doesn't like them and they don't like school. We can not wait to address the developmental needs of boys. Our future families are at stake. Evangelia Biddy, Junior Magazine
4/18/2011 05:09:27 PM Report AbuseIt's a shame that schools are aware of the limitations of young boys, but expect the boys to behave like the girls. It is no wonder the US education system lags behind so many other countries and sad that the best advice anyone can give is to wait a year for boys to start school. The girls are being educated now and not being married off at puberty...It is time to put a bit more effort into the boys and address their needs.
4/14/2011 12:50:40 PM Report Abuse