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The One-Week Fix for Bad Behavior
"Why does Julian have to be so annoying?" Usually, when my 9-year-old daughter, Charlotte, poses this question about her 4-year-old brother, my response is, "Don't call your brother annoying." But one rainy day, after spending hours listening to Julian's whining, I asked myself: "Why do kids have to be so annoying?"
Nothing drives me crazier than my son's high-pitched complaints, except Charlotte's tendency to pinch or smack her brother. Sometimes I wonder if my stress level is higher because I'm a single mom. Still, the married mothers I know say every child has a behavior that's like fingernails on a chalkboard. But we may be as much to blame as our kids. "If you focus on what a child is doing wrong, he'll naturally resist, which leads to arguments and worse conduct," explains Bernard Percy, a parenting consultant in Los Angeles.
Percy is right: My kids' annoying tendencies tend to bring out the worst in me. "I can't take this for another minute!" I found myself yelling recently. Then I stopped to think. I couldn't expect my kids to change their negative habits instantly. So I asked experts for their top behavior-modifying tips and agreed to try a different one every day for one week.
Related Links3 Golden Rules for Great Behavior >>
Helping Kids Handle Anger >>
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Excellent! I identified with every single example and am going to attempt to follow the 7 day plan myself. At a minimum, I am going to read through this on a weekly basis until it sticks in my head!
5/10/2012 02:19:37 PM Report AbuseI love this story, and I am thankful for your web site. As a grandparent and an elementary teacher suggestions on behavior modification is always a good thing. I wish every parent in my school used your web site to better prepare their children for living a good life through appropriate social behavior.
4/21/2012 07:10:19 AM Report AbuseI loved the approaches you adopted. They are well respected ideas from "experts" in child development and behavior, and you presented your experiences in a most interesting way! I have found them all to be positive ways to parent. I saw your article in Parents Magazine at the dentist's office, and was most unhappy with myself for not finding it again to keep. I've referenced your article on my blog. Thanks. www.grandparentoptions.com
2/1/2012 07:03:47 PM Report AbuseLOL That's exactly what I do. I told l my boys mommy's ears can't process whining. They gave me a "gimme a break" look and dismissed it; but then when something happened and they started, I wouldn't acknowledge. Their expression is hilarious, but they sigh and start over, talking like normal. My husband tries it but ironically it doesn't work with him, they get exasperated then try to whine about him to me LOL
1/31/2012 02:22:23 PM Report AbuseThis sounds great for young children. But what do you do for teenagers who "suddenly forget" all of the good stuff that they were taught and think their parent is stupid and inept and not worth listening to (and that they should be allowed to do whatever, whenever, wherever they want to)?
11/22/2011 12:12:27 PM Report AbuseThis came with perfect timing. Thank you so much for this. Will start implementing some of your strategies as soon as he gets home from the grandparents house tomorrow!!!
11/4/2011 08:21:07 AM Report AbuseIt sounds like a fairytale! Will have to work on my own behavior and try it out! Good luck for day 9- infinity...
10/12/2011 03:51:29 PM Report AbuseAmazing. This is exactly what I needed to read today, especially after my daughters tantrums from yesterday. But sadly, I can't really get her feedback, like telling me things, because she's a toddler and doesn't speak yet.
10/9/2011 07:22:50 AM Report Abusevery funny as well as inspiring to read ,,,also really encouraging
10/3/2011 08:54:05 AM Report Abuse