How to Handle Your Child's First Crush

Get the Scoop

You may want to avoid the subject altogether or squeeze out every last detail. The best tactic: Don't push, but start with general questions and follow your child's lead. For instance, if your son says he has a girlfriend, ask what that means to him. His response may range from "She's my best friend" to "We got married during recess." How can you find out what's going on if he doesn't bring up the topic? "You might say, 'I noticed that you've been hanging out with Violet lately. Do you feel different when you're around her?'?" suggests Dr. Langtiw. Try not to chuckle at what he says or dismiss his feelings, because you want him to feel comfortable opening up to you.

Determine if the Crush Is Mutual
Suppose your daughter likes a boy in her class. After you explore what she's going through, ask about whether she thinks the boy feels the same about her. If she doesn't think that he likes her in that way, explain that it's important to respect his feelings. You can say something such as, "I know you like Josh, but you shouldn't try to make him like you, because he might feel uncomfortable and that's not how real friends treat each other." By the same token, if a boy has a crush on your daughter but she doesn't share his feelings, let her know that it's okay not to want to be his girlfriend.

Parents Are Talking

Add a Comment