Re: To Have and To Keep - Staying Married with Kids
10-27-2013 07:25 PM
I too have had this issue and I've been married for 9 years (7 of those with kids). I know how frustrating this can be; coming home to take care of your child/kids and tackling chores. There is "no day off" or "time for yourself' even though your husband seems to find time to relax or do the things he likes. I've been home with my kids for the past 4 years and despite "having time" I still need help with chores, laundry, cooking and just watching the kids. I was multitasking one Saturday and my husband was in the den watching a football game. I was trying to clean the kitchen, get started on an early dinner, flipping the laundry and keep on eye on the kids while they were outside riding the bikes. I realize my husband works very long shifts and arrives home exhausted. But I approached him like this (without blowing my stack): If I was working outside of the home, who would be upstairs cleaning the kitchen, getting started on dinner, trying to keep the laundry going and keeping an eye on the kids? . . . . . I know your exhausted, but realize just because I have the opportunity to stay home, doesn't mean I can do it all. You're right here next to the laundry room and each time I have to come downstairs, that's put me further away from being able to keep an eye on the kids. Realize, THERE IS NO BREAK. You still need to help. I can't have an argument over this because I'm stating the obvious. I think it turned on a light because my husband acknowledged I can't be in multiple places at once, and more importantly, no one was watching the kids. As one mom to another, I would recommend you jot down on a board, what needs to be done as it pops up. The hubs will see and maybe get to it without having to be asked. I know there is a lot that shouldn't have to be said, but I've learned and taken the advice from another married friend, "they don't think like we do. Just write it down for them to see." Good luck!