Occasional Contributor
livsysjd
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎12-04-2013
Re: The "talk"...
[ Edited ]

I agree with what everyone up above me has said.  I personally go off of Finlands rather open dilogue regarding sex.  Teaching our children about sex, what it means, realtionships and things to be aware of, is a good thing.  I actually sat with my oldest at 10 and showed him a condom.  We talked about the condom, how to use it, what it helps with and what it didn't.  I gave him one to play with because the more you normalize using birth control the more likely a teen will.  I also buy condoms in front of my boys ( even though I don't use them) just to reinforce and role model.  I have never had ' A talk' with my kids.  It's been an ongoing natrual process since the day they were born, starting out with, callng their genitals by the right name. I have an almost 16 year old that has never had sex.  I know this because we talk about it.  I know he wants to and he shares this.  He knows it's normal and ok to want sex and we don't put it down.  He is aware of std's and teen pregnancy. Going with the open and honest path that we have as parents has actually made our son not be active.  He has abstained because of our openess.  We have taken a lot of the curiosity out of it and made it a reality of sorts. Sex is normal to our family and we don't have any personal ties to religion, so that doens't get in our way.  You should really research other countries.  Google the lowest teen pregnancy rates and see what they do so differently then the United States. You can't wait till a kid is 13 or older to discuss sex.  Start it now and just be age appropriate.  I always told my kids if they ever had any questions that we would give them the truth compared to their friends.  They have multiple times taken us up on that offer.  BTW, I don't even want to imply that all of this has been easy or is easy.  We have all had our uncomfy moments and still do. Most of that has been due to my own past, upbringing and fear.  I don't want to rasie my children that way, though. So, I push past myself privately and go forward.  It's my job and they deserve it.