Visitor
fathpycat
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎11-26-2013
Re: Christmas shopping dilema

Yes this sounds like a difficult situation but perhaps since the ex wont be there.. you brother wont be such an ass anymore.  I have had a similar situation and now that I have kids, i dont expect my brothers and sisters to buy anything for them- i dont ask, but i do appreciate.  I was thinking though for you neice and nephew of your brother- although you can't blame them fully and the children did not disown you (the parents did)  unfortunately these children are just caught in the middle. And they may feel they deserve things becuase since they have been going through this up and down divorce thing for a few years, I am sure that both their mom and dad try to overcompensate with their own guilt by buying them stuff.  I would take it a different route- I dont know how close you are or want to be to your neice and nephew but perhaps instead of buying them something - doing something with them- take them to a movie-, or maybe your neice would like a "girls" day with nails and hair- and talk to her- perhaps she is just getting the impression of what her mother says about you- but let her know that you are there to be a good aunt- not a friend, but a role model.  14 is a difficult age for girls if you remember.  I dont know how your nephew is- but sometimes quality time helps too.  Good luck.  These children need some sanity and just love and you can teach them to appreciate you - Just dont talk negative of the mother in front of them.  (i know you may want to but she is still their mother.)