New Member
ashyrayne
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎11-18-2013
My 15 year says she will never go to college
Ok so I have a 15 year old daughter named Britney, she's in the 10th grade and gets decent grades in school. A few weeks ago, we were having a conversation about school and what she wants to do after school. She told me she never wants to go to college! She mentioned modelling, which she's always wanted to do but it's just not realistic. She is very tall, thin and pretty, but I don't want her trying to do something so unrealistic. Besides, I don't want her degrading herself like so many of these Victoria's Secret models. I know it's weird to worry about when she's only 15 but I'm concerned that she'll have to work retail her whole life because of her silly modelling fantasy. Any advice? Thanks
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Regular Contributor
HostTammy
Posts: 245
Registered: ‎05-28-2013
Re: My 15 year says she will never go to college

I think about what I would tell my daughter if I were in your situation and it's not easy.

 

Fist, I think you have to remember that she is 15 and 15 through 20 are not easy years. There is a good chance that she changes her mind 50 times about college between now amd the time she graduates.

 

I think I would encourage my daughter to do both. My conversation might go something like this: 

 

Isabella, you are a beautiful young lady and I know you can do what ever you set out to do. Modeling sounds very exciting, but I want to remind you that a modeling career is usually short lived. Have you thought of trying to do both modeling and college? 

 

Don't panic, gently guide her through these crazy teen years and when it gets closer to college time you can revisit this conversation. I should also tell you that my husband said the same thing all through high school, he didn't want to go to college. So, he worked while his youngr brother went off to college. After two years, he decided that college was a better idea than what he was doing and he went for it.

 

Tammy

Regular Contributor
cassie186
Posts: 199
Registered: ‎08-20-2013
Re: My 15 year says she will never go to college

I actually wouldn't be worried about it at all at this point. A lot changes between 10th and 12th grades. A lot will change just in the next year.

 

I know that for many of us, we have this "traditional" trajectory that after graduation, it's straight to college for an undergrad. However there are many alternative, nontraditional paths to accomplish a college education too. Even if she doesn't get a college degree, she isn't cursed to a life in retail, and even some people with college degrees today are cursed with a life in retail right now because their degree doesn't make them more hireable right now than someone who might not even hold a degree. 

 

If she doesn't get into a university after graduation, or she doesn't apply to a university in time to start but changes her mind, there is the community college transfer option. My husband and I were both fortunate in that we were able to attend a good, solid community college. He has a ASN (2 year RN) and I transferred for a BA in psychology to public university. My husband was 24 when he finished his RN program- he took some community college courses after high school but then took a 3 year hiatus from school. There isn't a single moment that either of us regrets taking a nontraditional route to our education. It was perhaps more difficult, and I basically worked my husband through nursing school, but it certainly didn't leave us stuck in meager jobs. However, even though I have the higher degree, his associate's has significantly more earning potential than mine does.

Occasional Contributor
KristinGR9782
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎01-03-2014
Re: My 15 year says she will never go to college

Both previous replies have very good points and I would like to expand on the idea of discussing her options with her. Have you talked to her about what her ideal modeling career would look like? Ask her what she really thinks about the models that only show their underwear or skimpy bathing suits. This will help you get a better idea of what she is thinking about that, and hopefully calm some of your fears as far as 'degrading' herself. Find out if she really understands what a modeling career entails and also point out the models that also have college degrees. You will have to stay calm in your discussions with her about this becaus if she thinks it's going to freak you out even more than it already is, it will make her determination even worse. If she truely ends up being determined to do this (and as the others pointed out, she could change her mind rather quickly and easily) just realize that there are worse careers out there.

 

Also, speaking from my own experience, it will mean so much more to her later if you are supportive of her in exploring her interest. I really wanted to pursue acting, but like you, my parents didn't see it as realistic and I didn't have the self confidence to pursue it on my own. Now, going on 13 years after graduating high school, I really wish that my parents would have been more supportive and helped me explore more avenues because I regret not pushing harder and constantly wonder 'what if?'. So even if she tries and fails, she will remember that you were willing to help her in any way you could. That help can come with conditions, such as only age-appropriate jobs if she succeeds and her working to pay for things like head-shots and classes (but do your best to make sure the classes are legit). 

 

Good luck and I hope that you find the best answer for your family.