New Contributor
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎01-10-2014
Due June 1 and a vent

Hi everyone I guess all of you are due June 1. I just found out I am having a girl and I will admit I really wanted a boy. I was disappointed mainly because I have a step daughter who about 5. Thought a boy would round things out and my step daughter can be a handful at times. Right now Im feeling ok could be better if my family could all just get along. It has been a tough road from the start but seems to ease up here and there. Im only 25 and really just starting to get my life together. I keep thinking that I am almost there and then a something happens where it just adds stress. If its not my mother or boyfriend than its me just having a  hard time.  My moods have been up and down. However my mother only notices it when its down and ofcourse then want to make a point about it. I mean I cant be happy all the time. Sometimes I just want a moment to myself to site and just do relax. I am a person who has not spent a lot of time with kids and in about a year I was then responsiable for a 3 year old, who had been just handed off.  It has been an adjustment and I do better some days better than others. I love her and only want the best for her. My mother however makes me feel like I just am not good enough for her. I am not a touchy feely person and can be harsh at times. I was not raised that way however feel that my feelings were something that were never really mattered. I dont think on purpose but just because it happened. Now that I am expecting my first baby I am worried. I am worried that the way I feel will just get worse or that it will be to much. I know this is a lot but I just wanted to write how I was feeling down because lately I have been feeling like I was not being heard.