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Occasional Visitor
iceskt4evr
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎06-01-2014

Getting re-married and moving abroad.

Hi everyone,

 

I'm not sure where to begin. My fiance usually says at the beginning. I have been divorced now for almost six years. My ex husband and I didn't always get along, but we now share custody of our six year old son. We get along ok now. For the most part.

 

I am getting re-married in September and then I am moving overseas to be with my husband who is the Royal Air Force over in the UK. I will be with him until he is out of the service and then we will be moving back to the states.

 

What I'm worried about is, is the right thing to do? My son is also seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist and those doctors recommend that right now he be with one parent full time, and around other kids his age. He has a half brother from his dad and step-mom. While when he is with me, it's just him and I.

 

I am afraid that if I leave it will hurt him and do more harm than good. But at the same time, I feel that right now, it's something that I need to do. I know that makes me sound like bad mother and a horrible person.

 

But if anyone has any advice for me, I would most appreciate it.

 

Thank you.

Alicia

 

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Occasional Contributor
BabyMamaChloe83
Posts: 6
Registered: ‎07-17-2014

Re: Getting re-married and moving abroad.

Hi!


I would say start introducing the idea to him slowly, depending on when you're leaving and how long you will be gone. I'm not sure if you said how old he is, but I'm assuming young. Start telling him "mommy is going to be gone with a while, you'll have fun with daddy and *stepmom's name*"

 

I'm not sure how the split-custody thing works, do you get him for a week at a time then switch? If so, start doing a special activity just you and him once a week, so that he can reflect on those memories while you're gone.

 

How long are you going to be gone? No matter what, try to keep in contact through Facetime or Skype, always making sure he can see your face and you can see his :smileyhappy:

 

You're not an awful mother, I don't think anybody could say that because clearly your heart is kind of torn. You have a calling to be with your new husband, and you must follow it. But don't drop the ball, make sure you talk to your son at LEAST once a week, they have a short attention span/memory, so the more the better :smileyhappy:

 

Best of wishes and congratulations!

 

Chloe

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Occasional Contributor
BabyMamaChloe83
Posts: 6
Registered: ‎07-17-2014

Re: Getting re-married and moving abroad.

Ahh, 6 year old son. Got it-that works perfectly then :smileyhappy:

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