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New Contributor
brown_heather2004
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎05-08-2014

Re: behavioral issues with 4 1/2 year old son

we had to use a five-pt harness to Time out our middle child- happened to have an extra car seat we would use or sometimes the high chair. Maybe dinner time would be smoother if the timeout chair were different? Maybe he's big enough for a booster seat at the table? My 22 mo old is so much happier at the table with us than behind a tray.
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New Contributor
sundaymoylan2
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎05-08-2014

Re: behavioral issues with 4 1/2 year old son

Yep - I think you're onto something. We do have a booster. So high chair for time out & booster for dinner. Thank you!!
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magdalenagnecco
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎06-26-2014

Re: behavioral issues with 4 1/2 year old son

We have a 5 1/2 daughter, a 3 1/2 son and a 2 year old daughter. Some tips that work quite well at home are:
1) Be consistent. When you say "No" it really means "no". Do not change your mind. Otherwise, next time they will insist when you say no because they know you will eventually give in.
2) I am against spanking and really try hard not to shout, since I think it is not the way to educate. When they do something wrong, I start by telling them I love them more than anything in this world but that I do not like that behavior. And I try also to be consistent with the consequence, such as not play anymore with that toy if he is being rude.
3) I try to dedicate certain times of the day to play with each of them, and give them that special attention that they need. I know it is hard, but at the end of the day it is simpler to spend some 100% time to them, rather than having them all day following you or calling for attention.
4) Give them challenges. All human beings feel good about ourselves when we accomplish something good or hard. Give them chores to make, they love it, and they love to see the results and feel they were helpful. That makes them feel good and happy, and it helps in their behaviour.
5) Lastly, I have used in moments when discipline was difficult, or when they needed to improve a certain aspect, reward charts. I prefer rewards chart rather than punishment. Each get an objective (not the 2 year old though) and they get a star each they they accomplish it. When they get ten stars they get a price (toy that they like, or an outing by themselves with mom/dad).
I hope this helps!
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Occasional Visitor
planglin
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎06-26-2014

Re: behavioral issues with 4 1/2 year old son

I'm following this because I too have a 5 year old daughter that is the same way.  She has a twin brother that is just the sweetest thing.  I try to make sure that I don't play favorites and give them equal attention but I can't help but feel that somehow I am failing both of them.

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Occasional Visitor
jennifer64750
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎03-12-2014

Re: behavioral issues with 4 1/2 year old son

I just read everyones suggestions and I 100% agree consistancy is key.  But one suggestion I have not seen is have you tried ignoring behaviors?  It seems to me that he knows throwing things hitting etc gets to you therefore he gets attention, even if it is negative.  I know this is really hard, but have you tried not letting him know it bothers you and ignoring him.  That way he will not get the attention and he will stop a lot of these behaviors.  BUT at the same time, attention when he is doing something positive is always necessary here.  I hope this helps!  Good luck!  I know it is hard!  Stay Strong!

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New Member
mylovefalls
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎06-26-2014

Re: behavioral issues with 4 1/2 year old son

Our sons are the same age and acts exactly the same but now if I dont give him what he wants, he hits, pinches, bites or throw toys at me. Ive tried thst 7 day process but it didnt really work for a few hours. Ive tried everything, any advice would be very helpful

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msfinallyhome
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎06-27-2014

Re: behavioral issues with 4 1/2 year old son

Time out in a high chair seems dangerous and confusing (am I in trouble or is it lunch time?). Develop a plan while things are going good so when things go south you already know what to do. Make a time out area if that is your thing. Someplace safe with no toys where he can not get out. I send the 2 year old to her room and check in when the screaming has stopped. She needs to acknowledge what she did wrong, apologize, and do an action to resolve the initial situation (pick up the toy or put away her laundry). Often when I check in she is not ready yet, but eventually she understands that she has things to do if she wants out of her room.

When I enter a new environment with my 2& 4 year olds I make a plan. Where will I take them if screaming starts? Will I ignore? Will we walk right out to the car? Will I drag them in the bathroom?

And while I am watching them play I am constantly anticipating what could go wrong (she is going to grab her sisters toy) and then how I will react if it happens.

This is advice from a mom of 2 with a masters and career experience in working with kids with behavioral issues. ( but typing with one finger on an I-pad so, please forgive any spelling/grammar problems.
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