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Regular Contributor
cassie186
Posts: 188
Registered: ‎08-20-2013

Re: The spank debate...

I find it kind of ironic that the previous poster used the phrase rule of thumb.

Rule of thumb was actually a law that a man could legally beat his wife and children as long as the stick he used wasn't bigger around than his thumb was.

I personally don't agree with spanking. However I have found myself spanking dd1 and am not proud of it, as it is out of frustration. Corporal punishment is never effective long term. Some people may say it is, but it's the other things we do to teach our kids that is long term effective. I've been able to move away from spanking now and am finding myself much better at redirection and avoiding issues in the first place.
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Moderator
ModChristine
Posts: 1,187
Registered: ‎05-24-2013

Re: The spank debate...

Thank you all so much for sharing your personal experiences and advice/thoughts on the spanking subject.  My husband and I still disagree on this issue but we are working through it as each situation arises.

~ Christine ~
Mom to a sweet little girl and 2 busy boys
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New Contributor
shana44614
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎10-25-2013

Re: The spank debate...

i don't use spanking really, if anything its little spanks on the hands if they are touching something dangerous. For me i have found timeouts or (taking away toys / treats) pretty effective. I have a 2 and 4 year old.
Shana
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New Contributor
gcentlivre1
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎10-12-2013

Re: The spank debate...

I agree, like I said we very rarely have used spanking and only if all else fails. I believe there are a lot more extremely effective forms of discipline to use before spanking :-) I also agree with using more positive reinforcement and reward positive behaviors to prevent negative behaviors. Kids are curious, it's in their nature, so I know you can't prevent everything :-)

In regards to the rule of thumb statement, it happens to be a coincidence that it was used in this topic, there are lots of phrases that meant bad things in older times that people use on a regular basis and don't use it for the original meaning of the phrase. I don't consider spanking Corporal Punishment because I don't agree with spanking to cause pain, it's not supposed to hurt. If I feel like it were to coming down to spanking one of my kids it's used to get their attention never, ever, ever hard enough to inflict pain. I grew up on both sides of the fence in regards to spanking so I definitely disagree with doing ANYTHING that causes pain to a child.

Aaaanyways I hope the original poster and your husband are coming closer to a mutual agreement! Well wishes!
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New Contributor
acer2019
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎10-30-2013

Re: The spank debate...

Hello, My name is Scott and Yes, I do spank. I only do so as a last resort when a firm talk or a time out session does not work. I bring my boys up the same as I was. My wife is not a spanker, but she will only as a last resort. You and your Hubby need to be on the same page about this. You should spank ONLY as a last resort. My wife cries when she has to spank our children because it breaks her heart. I understand this all too well. So be tough about it. Do not let them see you cry when you do have to spank, and by all means when it is over and done with, make sure they understand why you had too. It only take 3 short pops, and it does not have to hurt to get them to understand what they did wrong to get to that point. The sound alone or even just the gesture of a spanking works very well. Finally, By All Means........ NEVER EVER spank out of Anger!!!! That is when abuse becomes evident..... I hope I have been of some help.

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New Contributor
acer2019
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎10-30-2013

Re: The spank debate...

Hello Tammy, I have 2 wonderful boys, and like you wondered the same, but I do, from time to time, have to spank them. The correction has to fit when you do spank, and my boys love me so very much, plus they are not scared of daddy, either. ( or mama the same. ) but it does happen, from time to time.
Scott
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New Contributor
acer2019
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎10-30-2013

Re: The spank debate...

Grace, I love you hun. You think just as I and my wife do. Only as a last resort does this ever happen, and NEVER out of anger.
Scott
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