08-09-2013 12:33 PM - edited 08-09-2013 12:41 PM
I know we all have our own opinions on spanking vs. not spanking. I have a different type of question...What do you do when one parents feels different than the other because of how they were raised? What about blended families? We are a blended family and my husband believes in spanking but I, however, do not because of things that stem from my own childhood. I have 2 children and he has 1 child. My children do not get spanked but he's considering starting to spank his own child again because of things that have been going on behavior-wise with him. My stepson's Mom also will spank when my stepson is with her. We have joint custody so he spends one week with us and one week with his Mom.
I do wish we were in agreement and the same discipline applied for all three children but this is not an issue I'm willing to budge on. He has pulled back and not spanked his son since we've been married because of my feelings but now we are revisiting the subject.
08-25-2013 07:05 AM
08-25-2013 07:12 AM
08-25-2013 07:32 AM
I was spanked as a child and when my daughter was born, I couldn't quite put my finger on why it felt wrong to spank her. My husband did spank her once when she was a toddler, but said he'd never do it again.
Eventually, I realized that being spanked illicted the same feeling I had when I was sexually assaulted by a friend as a teen. I feel now that I was taught as a child that I didn't have agency over my own body, it's harmful. We teach our children to submit. Girls or boys, it is harmful.
It wasn't until recent years that I decided to see if anyone else had put together the correlation and I found this article. It's long, but worth reading, especially if you're actively or considering spanking.
09-25-2013 11:22 AM
I was never spanked. My husband was. He wanted to spank the kids once and I toild him I would leave if he ever spanked the kids. We now are in agreement that its not a great parenting tool for us.
I don't agree with spanking. Can't understand what it teaches a child except to fear mom or dad. We actually saw a therapists with a goal in mind of becoming better parents. It was the best thing we could have done for our family. We were given different parenting styles to choose from. None of them however included spanking.
I thought more moms and dads would have strong opinions about this subject. I would really love to hear from more parents
10-12-2013 11:15 AM