Occasional Visitor
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎01-25-2014

Potty "training" for over a year

I need to vent.

We have been "training" struggling, crying, screaming, miralaxing, pull-upping, bribing, punishing, coaxing, therapy seeking, ped gastro doctor for over a year...

Every messy pull-up / undies feels like a defeat.

I can't keep going on like this.

My daughter is over 4 and is just happy as a clam to sit and stay in a soiled pull-up as long as she doesn't have to get cleaned up.  And of course the longer she stays in the soiled pull-up, the worse her bottom rashes, and the harder it is to clean properly.

I can't keep going on like this - there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

All I can smell in my house is poop due to the continual discarding in the garbage.  It disgusts me to change these (basically) adult size soilings all day long.  

I'm ashamed, embarassed, defeated, enraged, scared that she won't be allowed to enroll in Kindergarten in the upcoming fall.  

I have to continue to carry a fully packed diaper bag with me, including multiple changes of clothes due to the extreme messiness of the pull-ups when she soiles (due to the miralax, so that she can't withhold like she did before and get her bowls completely impacted, which I'm afraid is what is still going on).  Going out of the house for any reason brings on such an anxiety / annoyance for me because I know its never just a quick trip to the grocery store.  She attends UPK and I was hoping that the peer influence - noticing that she wears pull-ups all day, and that she doesn't use the toilet - would help, nope doesn't care.  

She was able to wear undies for a short period of time at school but then when we had to start the miralax up again, her soiling got so bad that it would run out of her pants and on to the carpet at school, so they told us she needed to go back to the pull-ups until things "resolve."  AHHHH, and the **bleep** pull-ups are eating away at my weekly grocery budget.

I don't know what to do, right now I feel like we are spinning our wheels (going with what the therapist told us to do) and not push it on her, we have backed off, and only offer to have "practice times" on the potty, which usually produce nothing because by the time we get her on the potty she has already soiled / wet in the pull-up.

I guess I'm not looking for any advice, because honestly we've tried it all.  I feel very alone in this and so completely defeated as a parent.

Thanks for listening.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 245
Registered: ‎05-28-2013

Re: Potty "training" for over a year

Ugh! Sorry for all the potty training problems you are going through.


It sounds to me like your daughter is old enough and smart enough to take charge of her own potty training. Let her know that she is a big girl now and she is in charge of the potty. Let her know that she can't start school unless she can go potty on her own.


If she has an accident, she needs to clean up and change herself. Give her the things she needs to do this, wipes, she should know where to get a change of clothes and make sure she knows where to put soiled clothes.


Praise her for using the toilet every time and don't react when she has an accident. Just ask her to clean herself up.


I know this might be hard, but try and see what happens. The key is no reaction when she has an accident and all praise when she uses the toilet.


Hope something works soon. If things don't improve, I suggest looking into seeing a therapist, they can help sort things out and help get to the bottom of any issues.



Posts: 1
Registered: ‎02-09-2014

Re: Potty "training" for over a year

I am having the same problem with my son. He will be 4 y/o on Feb 25th and refuses to poop in the potty. He was potty trained to pee in the potty at 3 y/o and has always peed in potty but never pooed in potty. Normally he pooped in diaper/now pull-up but then all of the sudden he started holding his poop in July of last year and his system was backed up. I have been to the pediatrician many times to discuss how to manage my sons pooping fears. With the pediatrician's advice, we put him on myralax for a few months so he would have easy poops without hurting. I recently took him off so he could have normal poops to see if he would do a normal poop on potty without holding. Nope! I don't know what to do!! When I try and force him to sit on the potty, even for 2 minutes, he screams that he is scared and it hurts. In my mind he is telling me he doesn't want to do it for some reason but I don't know why.  Please help!!

New Member
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎02-12-2014

Re: Potty "training" for over a year

I am sorry to hear your having such trouble with potty training. My daugher also was late in training and was 4 years old before she finally did potty train. Hang in there and I hope things get better soon!



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