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Registered: ‎03-26-2014

I feel like a bad mother

I feel like a bad mother. My children aren't even 3 years of age and I already feel like I've failed them. I know worrying is a constant but I feel as though that's all I do anymore. All I do is google things trying to find some kind of answers for the things I worry about. My beautiful sweet happy 29 month old doesn't speak. He screams and whins and drags me around the house to tell me what he wants. My 3 month old nearly died from a disease that I gave to him. I'm pretty sure that guilt will never go away no matter what people say. I thank god every second of everyday when I look at them that I have my boys but I feel like I let them down. I listen to my husband more and more try to get my older boy to behave and try to enable him to say words. The fact that he takes an active roll now makes me worry even more because atleast before he would say to me that it's all in my head. I want to do everything I can to get him on the learning level he should be at and to start to talk. He has had early intervention for the last 7 months. I signed him up go to a play group so he was around more kids and I now have a speech therapist coming to work with him. What else can I do?? Someone please tell me?! I just want him to talk and not have any learning disabilities. Or I want someone to tell me straight out that yes your son is behind for his age and yes he is severely delayed in speech and yes he could be autistic. Or I really want them to say your son is completely fine and will talk when he's ready and that he's really smart he just isn't ready to speak. I've already heard that they don't think he's on the spectrum I just don't know why I can't help but feel like he is. I just want to do everything I can for him and his brother!!! Is it because everyone is so quick now to say that kids have all these issues? The mothers guilt is killing me. I know we have been through a lot over the last couple months but as I am home with my boys everyday on maternity leave I can't help but drive myself nuts over what I should be doing for my son that I'm not. Does anyone feel like me????
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Posts: 1,365
Registered: ‎05-24-2013

Re: I feel like a bad mother

Hi :smileyhappy: I understand what you are feeling.  My daughter is special needs and before we knew exactly what was going on with her, I had moments of feeling like I wasn't doing enough for her.  Feeling like I had somehow done this to her with something in my pregnancy even though in reality I knew I did everything right.  If your son does have a learning disability, just make sure you get him the therapy and help he needs which it sounds like you are doing.  Be there for him.  Support him and love him just the way he is.  That is you being a great mother!  It's natural to worry.  Moms worry in general about their children but when you have a child with issues going on, we worry even more.  I know it's hard to be patient and want a diagnosis quick so you an spring into action but sometimes it just takes time to see what that diagnosis is.  They don't want to be too quick to "label" him.  Feeling guilty isn't helping either of your children.  I can say this because I've been there.  I suffered guilt for a very long time thinking it was something I did.  You have to try to let that go so you an truly enjoy your boys exactly as they are.  ((hugs))!!

~ Christine ~
Mom to a sweet little girl and 2 busy boys
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