New Member
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎10-24-2013


Hello Ladies! I am desperatly needing some advice on dealing with my 4 year old son. He is absolutly out of control. I am fairly confident that he has ADHD but obvioulsy they do not diagnose or medicate that age. He is  an incredibly smart boy for his age and has been talking in full sentences since he was 2. But that is sort of the problem, He uses every single thing we say to him right back at us. If i tell him I dont like the way he is acting, two weeks later he will say the same thing back to me, but in a very hateful voice. He is incredibly impulsive. We went to story time at our local book store last week and he got incredibly pissed at me because I would not let him bring home the crayons. The owner was on the phone and he was screaming bloody murder and flailing around. She kept looking at us like ..."get out of here!" finally left and was incredibly embaressed. Today at the grocery store, him and his sister sat in one of those car shopping carts because they usually do so good in them. Today he decided that he would make my daughter miserable. He kept taking her stearing wheel and making her cry, laying across the seat so that he would kick her in the legs. After asking him to stop multiple times, I took him out. He then screamed through the entire store runnung behind me hitting me. I try to get down to his level, get him to stop and talk to him, but he just flails all over the place. Everyone in the store was staring at me and again, totally embarassed. When we are out in public he is out of control. He refuses to calm down and I dont know how to get him to. I try to calmly talk to him, but hes literally nuts. My husband just tells me I need to figure it out and that I dont  spank him hard enough. I dont see how getting into a physical battle with my 4 year old is going to do anything. I have popped his butt before in the grocery store and his responce is to SCREAM..."you dont hit me" Incredible. I dont know what to do. can someone please give me some advice!!??

Regular Contributor
Posts: 223
Registered: ‎08-20-2013


[ Edited ]

Something that might really help before you go out in public if he is normally well behaved (at home) is giving him lots of food before you go out places. We had a kid in our preschool co-op that was just off the walls and his mom started to just load him up with a protein shake and snack on the way (he is also 4) and he went from being off the walls to super mellow and easy to work with in just one class. If he's going out and hasn't had enough to eat/ the right type of foods/ eaten recently enough, it'll be harder for him. Also it's kind of like when you are at Thanksgiving and everyone stuffs themselves full and people either just sit around really quiet or sneak off for naps- all that food in your tummy just makes you tired and relaxed :smileyhappy: Hope this helps!

New Member
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎11-05-2013


Have you considered going to counseling? If you or your husband work most companies have EAP programs that are free. I have no other advice but I do feel for you. I've seen this happen while being out before with other mothers. My son is younger so this hasn't happened yet but I dread the day this happens to me when we're out. If it were me I'd try the counseling. They may be able to help you with some options.
Occasional Visitor
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎11-17-2013


I have a four year old granddaughter that is similar to your son- Don't be quick to put that label on him ADHD- having worked with children for some thirty odd years - first as a single parent of three and then a preschool teacher /special education - I find this behavior normal- to an extent- except when its out in public and it's embarrassing the ' -ell' out of you. Never threaten the child with swapping when we get home or out of here',etc because your primary concern should be the child's safety. Leave immediately the store/restaurant wherever you happen to be and explain to the child ( cause they will ask what your are doing) very calmly and briefly-explain What were the expectations of them(child) were to be in the store and what they did not do correctly - for you having to cut short your visit /departing the establishment. As you mentioned of your sons understanding of vocabulary -Talk to the child they will learn what is expected of them when going out - forfeit trips out to the stores for a while and/ remind the child(ren) before going out of what is expected of them - After all goes well- compliment their good behavior and also heed the other reply in this chat - bring snacks for the children- apples slices ,books to entertain them- juice boxes. - Give them love and understanding of what you want from them- Loud and clear- Children are very intelligent. Good luck

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