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Occasional Visitor
melissa.r.brennan
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎02-18-2014

Suggestions for behavior modification for a 4 year old boy who is acting aggressively at school

My son started JK in September, he will be 5 at the end of May. Everything was going okay at school. Not perfect but more good days then bad. The past couple of weeks have been terrible almost every school day.

 

Some examples:

- Pushing other children for no reason, grabbing/scratching their faces when he is frustrated

- Throwing things (books, toys, everything!)

- Takes forever to clean up his lunch and is always the last one outside

- Calling other children and at least one adult stupid or using bathroom language (poopy face, poo poo head, ect)

 

What I have tried:

- Putting him to be earlier (7pm instead of 8 or 8:30)

- Reward chart - we put little smiley faces when he has a good day and little sad faces when he has a bad day. At the end of the week if we can get all happy faces there will be a reward of special time with mom or dad or a small treat. We just started this but so far we have no smiley faces :smileysad:

- Taking away privileges. IPad time, tv time, toy time, swimming lessons, family time

- Reading about it. We have read countless books on being nice, not hitting, ect. I have read countless books/articles on parenting and I still feel no further ahead.

- Talk about it - we talk about it daily. In the morning we have a chart and we review our daliy goals (keep hands to yourself, tidy up your lunch quickly, get ready to go outside right after lunch) I make sure he keeps eye contact and I get him to repeat it back to me in his own words and give suggestions on how to deal with daily stresses.

 

Honestly, I'm heartbroken. I cried today when I received the third note in the past 3 school days that my child hurt another child and just won't listen. I have an older daughter who is 10 and never has ever had any behavioural problems. She is an amazing kid so is my son when we are at home.

 

At home we have few problems. Occasional listening issues (pick up your toys x 100) but for the most part he is sweet, cuddly and kind. I’m so lost and I feel like a terrible parent. I wonder if he is just too young developmentally but then he was fine until these past couple of weeks. He is in full day, every day kindergarten maybe it’s too much? Maybe I’m making excuses.Perhaps I need to be more patient? How long will it take to see behavioural changes it we keep it consistant and when do you know that it's time to throw in the towel and try something new?

 

I honestly don’t know what to do. I am willing to do/try anything!

Any suggestions would be kindly appreciated!

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Occasional Visitor
amymullen1001059
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎07-17-2014

Re: Suggestions for behavior modification for a 4 year old boy who is acting aggressively at school

Sounds like an organic imbalance. Try seeing a good homeopathic doctor.
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New Member
mireynos
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎07-17-2014

Re: Suggestions for behavior modification for a 4 year old boy who is acting aggressively at school

Have you tried asking him if anything is bothering him? Maybe someone at school made him feel bad and he reacted to that, causing the chain of events. Try talking to him in a friendly matter-of-fact style, if something did happened at school he will talk about it as long as he does not feel that he will get punished for it. Good luck.

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New Member
cya2356
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎07-17-2014

Re: Suggestions for behavior modification for a 4 year old boy who is acting aggressively at school

I would check his allergies to food. Had nephew with same behavior - turns out he was allergic to 48 diff foods. He has grown out of most, but his whole behavior changed when diet changed.
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Occasional Visitor
mariruth88036
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎07-17-2014

Re: Suggestions for behavior modification for a 4 year old boy who is acting aggressively at school

[ Edited ]

I agree with the commenter above.  It sounds like something has happened to him and he is acting out as the only way to cope.  I don't  want you to worry, but a drastic change in behavior is a sign that someone or something has confused him or hurt him in some way.  Try not to lead the conversation because you don't want to make excuses for him either.  Let him do the talking and only ask questions based on what he has said. This might sound crazy, but If you don't get anywhere by talking to him, I would personally attach my son a hidden camera or audio recorder to get to the bottom of it.  Once you establish the cause, you will have a lot more to work with in regard to helping him.  IF it is just oneriness, you will at least know that he is safe and working with him will be less stressful and worrisome.  My son started getting in trouble at school because of influence and the teacher punishing everyone in the class for one person acting up. His attitude became terrible and rude toward his teacher because he felt the situation was unfair. The only thing that worked was turning videogames into a reward that he had to earn. We made playing videogames for Friday and if he earned it, he got it.  He hated missing out on videogame day and learned to deal with the teachers rules. If he earned perfect behavior, then he got ice cream on Friday as well.  If there is something in your son's life that he absolutely loves to the point that he sometimes throws fits when it is time to put it down or leave, then that is your best tool for motivation.  I know you have tried a lot of things and I don't know your situation like you do, but I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck!

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New Member
khealey19ca1
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎07-18-2014

Re: Suggestions for behavior modification for a 4 year old boy who is acting aggressively at school

Sounds like you're a great job!
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Member
seyeadon
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎10-16-2013

Re: Suggestions for behavior modification for a 4 year old boy who is acting aggressively at school

young child offen act out when they are seeking attention.  does he feel left out? does he not understand what is expected of him by the teachers because he has a sight or hearing problem?  does he have any kind of speaking problem?  is there an activity that he doesn't like so he tries to avoid it by acting out.  is he eatting well before going to school? (hungry can cause bad behavior just as much as being sleepy and/or tired.

 

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