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Posts: 1
Registered: ‎02-18-2014

Suggestions for behavior modification for a 4 year old boy who is acting aggressively at school

My son started JK in September, he will be 5 at the end of May. Everything was going okay at school. Not perfect but more good days then bad. The past couple of weeks have been terrible almost every school day.


Some examples:

- Pushing other children for no reason, grabbing/scratching their faces when he is frustrated

- Throwing things (books, toys, everything!)

- Takes forever to clean up his lunch and is always the last one outside

- Calling other children and at least one adult stupid or using bathroom language (poopy face, poo poo head, ect)


What I have tried:

- Putting him to be earlier (7pm instead of 8 or 8:30)

- Reward chart - we put little smiley faces when he has a good day and little sad faces when he has a bad day. At the end of the week if we can get all happy faces there will be a reward of special time with mom or dad or a small treat. We just started this but so far we have no smiley faces :smileysad:

- Taking away privileges. IPad time, tv time, toy time, swimming lessons, family time

- Reading about it. We have read countless books on being nice, not hitting, ect. I have read countless books/articles on parenting and I still feel no further ahead.

- Talk about it - we talk about it daily. In the morning we have a chart and we review our daliy goals (keep hands to yourself, tidy up your lunch quickly, get ready to go outside right after lunch) I make sure he keeps eye contact and I get him to repeat it back to me in his own words and give suggestions on how to deal with daily stresses.


Honestly, I'm heartbroken. I cried today when I received the third note in the past 3 school days that my child hurt another child and just won't listen. I have an older daughter who is 10 and never has ever had any behavioural problems. She is an amazing kid so is my son when we are at home.


At home we have few problems. Occasional listening issues (pick up your toys x 100) but for the most part he is sweet, cuddly and kind. I’m so lost and I feel like a terrible parent. I wonder if he is just too young developmentally but then he was fine until these past couple of weeks. He is in full day, every day kindergarten maybe it’s too much? Maybe I’m making excuses.Perhaps I need to be more patient? How long will it take to see behavioural changes it we keep it consistant and when do you know that it's time to throw in the towel and try something new?


I honestly don’t know what to do. I am willing to do/try anything!

Any suggestions would be kindly appreciated!

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