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MrsSKbearmom
Posts: 42
Registered: ‎03-06-2014

Need input on chore/task charts and consequences

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We have tried a chore chart (or task, or responsibility chart, whatever you want to call it) at home during the last school year (kindy) for our daughter. It lasted about a month. With both of us working full time, the couple hours we had before the bedtime routine started was spent doing homework with her (like pulling teeth), cooking and then eating dinner, and also taking care of her younger brother. Doing homework was one of her tasks and somedays she didn't even get that done because of dance class or we ran out of time. There were rewards for this system if she got enough stars at the end of the week. She got to choose the reward at the beginning of the week. She only got the reward for only ONE of the weeks that we had this going. 

 

She just turned 6. She is always trying to "help" by doing things I did not ask her to do, trying to be a 2nd mom to her brother, and generally not listening to anything her parents say. Despite always wanting to help in un-helpful ways, she said didn't want to try to chore chart again. But I have had it up to HERE with her disrespectful ways and want to implement this again to help curb her behavior, especially before she goes into 1st grade. I came up with some "tasks" but really need help with consequences. We need clear cut things that will happen so we don't end up yelling and arguing with her. Her dad and I are at our wits ends!

 

So the tasks are simple: Make bed, Put away dirty clothes, Put away shoes, Tidy room. And then I added Read a book, Practice Math, Practice Writing. When school starts up, we'll have to probably take the last 2 away and just replace with Do Homework.

 

Consequences:

Chores not completed = No TV time, No Innotab time and obviously no reward at end of week

Bad Behavior Days at School = No TV time, No Innotab time, write sentences?? (I used to make her do this in VPK)

Disrespectful behavior (not listening, dis-obeying, etc) = Spanking and time out??

 

I know during school, it was easier if there was an special event coming up or field trip that I would tell her if she had any bad behavior days she would not participate. But what do we do on normal weeks with no special events coming up?

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Occasional Contributor
beckyweste
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎06-22-2014

Re: Need input on chore/task charts and consequences

You have to be consistent in everything you do and have patience even if you have tried one type of discipline like 15 times and you still think they don't care. I have three kids that are super close in age its like they feed off of each other, if one won't do something neither will th the other. Buyt they also like the attention from the parent and they know they can get it by not doing what there told. Maybe charts don't work but if she really really wants a certain toy make two charts one being the good chart where she does all her chores and one for not doing her chores. She puts stickers up on the good chart when she does good and you put one up on the not so good chart when she doesn't listen but if she listens she can take one off the not so good chart and if there are none on there then you give her the sticker to put on the good chart. The point is for her to keep the nit so good chart clear ofcstickers for as long as you decied and that she understand s that she does not get anything until that happens. She has to work for what she wants by doing her chores and if she doesn't she didn't get it. But be proud of her when she does do it and don't make a stink about it we hen she didn't just put the sticke f2f on the bad chart and call it a day. The more you m as keep a big deal of it or change the reward just cause your snorted that she's my listing its only going to make it worse. Stick to simple. My daughter's 6 years old and my husband likes to take her blanket away from her when she sucks her thumb and tells her if she doesn't for 3 days then she can have it back but if she doesn't listen he adds a day. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but he doesn't say now you have 5 more days with out it. Nope its still one more day and there after. The only thing it really teaches her is if shewants something bad enough then she should listen. Hope that helps.
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Occasional Contributor
beckyweste
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎06-22-2014

Re: Need input on chore/task charts and consequences

Maybe u and your teacher could come up w a reward for her at school when she does her homework. Who knows just a thought.
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New Member
habshockeygrl
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎07-22-2014

Re: Need input on chore/task charts and consequences

We take our chore chart system really seriously and keep an exact routine schedule.  On days that he is exceptionally stubborn about not following through we don't just take away a few items that he wants he has the option of sitting on the time out stool or doing the chore.  He is allowed to get up to do the chore and if he starts playing or ignoring us it's back on the stool.  He of course is allowed off for meal time but has to go directly back.  He has had days where he thought he was smart and chose to stay on the stool until the next day when he realized it was right back onto the stool until he finished up from yesterday.

I read that it takes about 21 days for something to become a habit.  Good luck. I know it's hard to take an activity like dance class away but if she is having such a hard time getting homework done due to dance classes as she ages the demands will only become harder and it might be better to wait until she can manage time and chores better.

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Occasional Contributor
beckyweste
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎06-22-2014

Re: Need input on chore/task charts and consequences

I've learned that if yiu stick to time out or any form of punishment and its the same every time. Kids do find out that they really should listen and do what there told. 3 or 4 hour time outs are not fun. My daughter a few weeks ago sat in time out for an hour and a half before she did what she was told, and the other day she did what she wad told big difference. But then again I dont think she liked being in time out for an hour and a half. Every kid is different. But the point is if you stick to your expectations and discipline they will learn to do what there told may take a while for some kids and not for others but y hen again it might depend on how many buttons they have to push before they listen.
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