To the people who have no compassion, understanding and tolerance for children who have any childhood disorder, such as ADHD, I plead with you to please keep your frustration to yourself, and not visible to the parent and to the tantrum-throwing child in question. No matter how disgusted you are with us, trust me, it is nothing compared to the level of complete humiliation and frustration I feel inside. I realize that to you, I am just another idiot parent who has no idea how to raise my child, but to me, your visible reaction is the nail in my emotional coffin. No child is easy, especially those that are trapped in the vortex of ADHD hell, to no fault of their own. They have no sense of control over their emotions and reactions, making the life of their parents, the absolute same. Going to the grocery store is easy for you. You get in your car, drive to the store, decide over meat and produce, push your cart, pay and go home. For me, I debate for a half hour before getting into the car if my child is having a good enough day to go. Once I make the decision, I go over rules of conducts and bribes if he follows them through, while I drive us there. While I decide over meat and produce, I jump at the slightest sound for fear that he either threw or broke something or himself out of the cart. Then I calculate where to park the cart, so that all sugar foods, junk foods and balloons are not in his peripheral vision. Then I try to plan which cash to go to that has the least amount of candies in its aisle, who has the least amount of people, and which cashier seems the most sympathetic. I am sure that you in fact are a better parent and that your child would NEVER do that. But before you let me know of it, either through a disapproving look, eye roll or flat out verbalize it, just remember that I love my son and that I would sell my soul to fix him. Just remember that I have tried everything and at the end of the day, love, patience, forgiveness and understanding are all I can do for him. Just remember that after the humiliating ADHD tantrum I just endured physically and emotionally, all I can think about is you. Next time, just remember that.
I can relate. My 9 year old stepson who we have joint shared custody of has ADHD. He is on medication but I don't feel like it's conrolled at times. At the moment I think he has outgrown his current dose so we have an upcoming doctor appointment. I feel your pain. I have been in that situation with him before and people do judge. I also have a daughter who is 5 and born with a rare genetic syndrome and is disabled. People many times think she is just misbehaved when yelling or fussing in public. They don't know our real story of why. Just know I am one that does not judge other childen in stores or their parents because you never know what people are going through! Hugs!!
~ Christine ~ Mom to a sweet little girl and 2 busy boys