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ambernicole664
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎05-27-2014

First baby blues. Am i NOT normal??

Someone please help me... because i am feeling horrible. My husband and i have been ttc for the past 6 months and weve just found out that i am 6 weeks. I will first say, that a few months back we thought i was pregnant. I was SO excited! I was on the roll, ready, happy, etc... then i found out that we were not. I was heart broken and bawled my eyes out. We decided to stop trying, i thought about it for awhile and i knew i had more that i wanted to do before our big step. And then? Boom. Baby. I was so estatic when i found out! And then?... well, now i feel so down. I feel not ready, i feel not in control, and i DONT feel like myself what so ever. What is wrong with me? Should i feel happy? We had our announcement made, and now everyone is flooding me with "warm wishes" and "congratulations" and the more i read/hear them the more it makes my stomach turn. Will this feeling pass?? I am so nervous, and i feel horrible right now. 

 

Another big issue im having to over come is with smoking. Yes. Top it off enough to make me feel horrible, im STILL smoking. I went to the hospital the other day and the Dr. told me that if i just quit cold turkey it could actually put stress on my body AND to the baby, which normally causes miscarriages. Has anyone ever heard of this? Because i have not. Also, i feel like im smoking more. Almost craving it. 

 

 

I would greatly appriciate it if everyone would please try and put yourself in my shoes before the quick judgement. Im reaching out for help and im hoping someone here can walk me though this. 

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Occasional Contributor
jellybeanmag
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎05-28-2014

Re: First baby blues. Am i NOT normal??

Part of it's hormones, I've had a few days where I've felt really insecure, cried for no real reason and then wanted to lock myself away in a room, you could have some depression as well, keep an eye on it and tell the dr so they can monitor it too, as for smoking I've got that same craving issue but was told the same thing as you... Don't stop cold turkey... Lower the quantity
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ambernicole664
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎05-27-2014

Re: First baby blues. Am i NOT normal??

Thanks so much. Thought i was alone in this.
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wlove4642
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎05-26-2014

Re: First baby blues. Am i NOT normal??

Well first off congrats is in order, I know it is terrifying reading that stick and realizing your whole life no matter what has changed and having mixed feelings is normal planned or not especially when you decided to stop trying! Allow your body and mind to ease into the changes and you will be okay :smileyhappy: I am 25 weeks pregnant and for the first few weeks we found out my boyfriend and I were panicked and upset *it wasnt planned* but then you hear the heart beat and see it and omg you cant imagine life without him/her you will see! Definitely monitor yourself though and understand that your hormones are probably going to put you emotionally in every way possible and to call the dr if any suicidal or harmful thoughts come into your mind. The joys of estrogen and progesterone. As for smoking personally I would cut down as much as you can and not be so hard on yourself. My bestfriend smoked throughout hers and now has a healthy beautiful little girl :smileyhappy: my mom also smoked with me and was on birth control the first month I was conceived and I think I turned out well lol babies are not as fragile or weak as you may think. Just send as much love as possible and take as good of care of you two as possible and you will see just how exciting motherhood can be! Best wishes for happy and healthy pregnancy!!
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MrsSKbearmom
Posts: 42
Registered: ‎03-06-2014

Re: First baby blues. Am i NOT normal??

I think it pretty normal to feel like maybe you weren't as ready as thought, but that is not sort of thing women normally put out there. I think with pretty much anything, you can research, analyze, and then after you have a made a decision you worry if it was the right one, but it's too late to go back. And having a human-being inside is like 10x something trivial like a career move or getting a tattoo - this is a person you are carrying and with will care for the next 18+ years, ya know?

 

And Yes, I have heard of doctors saying that before about gradually cutting back on smoking if you were previously a heavy-smoker.  I used to smoke, but made the decision to stop before getting pregnant. I was at the airport, in Atlanta, and they have in-door smoking areas so you don't have to go all the way outside. I was in there smoking during a lay-over and there was a young mom who stepped just in the door to smoke, while she had her toddler on a one of the back-pack baby leashes. She made the kid stay outside, away from the smoke, but the kid kept trying to take off, dragging the mom out of the smoking area. I looked at my friend and with both were like, 'Nope, we don't want to be that kind of mom" and made our plans to stop smoking. I know it's tough, but you can do it!

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druth2103
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎06-20-2014

Re: First baby blues. Am i NOT normal??

Well, first congratulations!!! I'm sure this must be an interesting and new adventure in your life right now! And if it helps any, I went through the same experience regarding emotions/hormones. I'm 22 weeks today and initially, I was A mess when I found out I was pregnant! My husband works full-time and is in graduate school, and I was going into my second to last semester of undergrad while also working part-time... so I really felt that this was the most inconvenient time ever. I was more than overwhelmed and had some very dark moments. Adding insult to injury, I went through about two months of pretty intense morning sickness... but as time passed, I started to feel better and now I'm pretty excited for my baby girl to get here!! Though I won't be graduating as I'd planned this December, I do realize how Blessed we are and how much children can change your life... for the better. Believe me when I tell you this, things will get better. You may still experience some of those horrible pregancy symptoms (like constipation, gas, bloating, sleeplessness, etc.), but it'll be All worth it when you finally get to see your little baby for the first time... I can only imagine. I don't have any personal experience when smoking, but your doctor sounds like he/she knows what they're taking about so keep your head up and hang in there. It really will get better :-)
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Contributor
ambernicole664
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎05-27-2014

Re: First baby blues. Am i NOT normal??

THANK YOU EVERYONE for giving me respectful, helpful answers and NOT being judgemental! I have kicked smoking in the can, and both baby and i are smoke free. Infact, the smell makes me sick! I am more excited about baby, and that happened around my 7th, 8th week when my fatigue went away (crap that stuff really drags you down)! I cannot wait to find out what were having now. I am a little iffy with the belly touching thing, its the first thing everyone goes for (since my belly is a bit big for me only being almost 3 months) and it drives me freakin bonkers!

How is everyone else doing??
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