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Occasional Contributor
UniquelyInked
Posts: 7
Registered: ‎11-20-2013

First Pregnancy, Older Mom, Feeling Alone

Hello Mommies-to-Be - I am 38 and pregnant for the first time (just about ready to move into my second trimester).  While I have a lot of friends that are mommies, all of them have had their children years ago.  Right now I am feeling very alone in this experience.

 

My husband has been very supportive, which is great but not having someone to turn to about is this normal, is this not normal has been tough.

 

I am a self-admittied control freak, so not having any idea as to what is going on or if every thing is okay has been tough.  I feel like I go to my OB appointments, they feel around a bit, hear the heartbeat and send me on my way.  That's it, really?  Then I try to read up on pregnancy and it all makes me feel like a terrible person that I am not exercising and eating fruits and vegetables and making sure my diet is completely covering all the necessary nutrients.

 

I'm exhausted and moody and can't eat much of anything healthy - my body just doesn't want it.

 

Anyone else lacking a mommy-to-be-support-group . . . feeling like you are floating out in the cosmos of pregnancy . . . I can't be the only one, right?

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New Contributor
henbit1970
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎12-20-2013

Re: First Pregnancy, Older Mom, Feeling Alone

Hi there,

Just sending some words of support - I'm a also first-time mom-to-be, 10 weeks along and 44 (!) years old. Like you, other women I know had their kids long ago (many have teenagers!) and my husband and I know we'll be going through this on our own as our families live in another part of the country. But it is what it is and we plan to do our best. We didn't think we'd ever be parents and are grateful that after trying for so long we finally have the chance. :-)

 

Right now all I can say is concentrate on your little one, and don't beat yourself up about exercise and diet! If you are dealing with exhaustion and nausea/food aversions, wait for it to pass then focus on incorporating healthy foods into your diet. My family doctor told me that this early on, the baby is getting enough nutrients even if you are not eating properly yourself. Just eat what you can stomach, no matter what it is, and stay hydrated - apparently things should improve within the first few weeks of the 2nd trimester.

 

I am a runner who has always paid strict attention to diet (no junk, lots of veggies,etc) - due to nausea and exhaustion I'm struggling to put any time in on the treadmill so my fitness is dwindling away, and all I can stomach is mashed potatoes, french fries and cheese LOL. Give it time, listen to your body and give it a chance to get used to all the changes. Hard for a control-freak, I know :-) You still have 2 trimesters to work with, so try to tough it out till you feel more focused. Maybe take a little break from reading up about pregnancy - there is so much information/opinion out there that it can be overwhelming!

 

As far as your friends, they may be loooking forward to reliving the joys of having a new baby through you - they should also be a great source of support and advice, having all been there before. Have you asked them any questions yet? And yes, I've heard that some OB appointments are quick and impersonal - I had the option of getting a midwife. You might want to take a list of all your questions and concerns and make the most of the appointments - that's what they're there for.

 

I am obviously no expert on this and have no earth-shattering advice, but being in a similar situation I understand the feeling of isolation. Cut yourself some slack, you are having a baby! :-) It's great to hear you have a supportive husband, that goes such a long way. Hang in there!

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Occasional Contributor
UniquelyInked
Posts: 7
Registered: ‎11-20-2013

Re: First Pregnancy, Older Mom, Feeling Alone

Thank you so much for your response!  Just reading your message made me feel a million times better!

Best of luck to you!

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New Contributor
henbit1970
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎12-20-2013

Re: First Pregnancy, Older Mom, Feeling Alone

Very happy that you are feeling better about things - Good Luck to you too!  

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New Contributor
leteciacunningham
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎03-09-2014

Re: First Pregnancy, Older Mom, Feeling Alone

Im older then you 43 by the time the baby comes I understand fully but guess what we will get through this so now you have a new friend ....Hey Im just happy Im older and pregnant shows my husband still finds me sexy...lol

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