01-03-2014 01:07 PM
I thought I was pretty decided on only having one (she is 5), then our best friends told us they were pregnant before Thanksgiving and it has really messed with my head. That little voice started asking 'What if you had another one...?' and I feel so torn. I know it is something that ultimately I have to decide on my own, but I was wondering if there was anyone else out there that had a hard time deciding whether to have a second one or not. And if so, what ultimately helped you make the decision (in either direction)? I am happily married and my husband is all for it, though would be fine if we didn't since he thought we were done too. My first was not planned and I was not prepared mentally or emotionally, and that is where my resistance lies I think. Also, if you have had a second one, what has surprised you the most (good or bad) about having two instead of just one? I really appreciate any input!
01-07-2014 10:36 PM
Its tough to help someone decide on this sort of thing. Its such a personal choice.
My sister always wanted just one. She has one 10 year old son. She doesnt understand how people do more than one child. She is content with one.
I have three, thought I was done at two until my second one was four yrs old. I had my third child at age 42. I might have had one more if I had started younger.
I think you know you are done when there is no doubt. I think if you are unsure, then you you might want to give it some time to let the thought settle before you make any decision s.
its a great topic. I would love to hear what everyone else thinks. How do you know when you are done having kids. How do you know its right to have another one?
Take care. Loom forward to hearing what you decide to do.
02-15-2014 02:54 PM
02-15-2014 02:55 PM
02-15-2014 03:22 PM
02-15-2014 03:22 PM
This is definitely a topic near to my heart. Even before I was married I had wanted two kids. After my husband and I had our first, I still wanted two. For the longest time, though, he would keep repeating "just one." I heard him say that so many times I was finally o.k. with just having one. Then suddenly when our daughter was three my husband changed his tune and started talking about having a second. At that point, he had to convince me. I struggled with the decision, too, but ended up letting fate decide. About four months later I was pregnant with our second and in my heart I knew it's what I wanted. The nice part about having two with a 4 year age difference is our oldest helps take care of and look out for her younger sister. There was (and still is) some jealously from our oldest, but she is also more understanding that the baby needs extra attention sometimes. So far their personalities are completely opposite, which I guess I expected. All I can really do is wish you the best with your decision
02-15-2014 03:23 PM