I was at a close friend's house for an informal get-together/dinner party. I had my two girls with me ages 7 and 10. My friend has a large house and she has taken in another woman and her 9 year old son temporarily. I know this woman and her son, but more like an acquaintance.
These are the only three kids there, so of course they were playing together in his room. But they were being rather wild, which Im not comfortable with. I could hear them jumping on the bed, etc
Then, they turn the light off in the room and close the door. Im not ok with this so I go in and tell them the light needs to be on and the door open. Then, the boys mother comes up to me and says "actually, they're just playing a game. its kind of fun, really. I play it with him all the time. We turn off the light and hide..." blah blah blah
Grudgingly, I say ok, but they still need to keep the door open. The boy argues with me that that will ruin the game because then it wont be dark. The mother is standing there agreeing with him! What was i supposed to do? So finally they agreed to keep it open a crack, and i decide that I'll just continue to pop in on them frequently.
The "game" continues but he keeps closing the door and turning off the light. Then I hear whispering and giggling so I went to go back in and he locked the door! I about lost it. I said "why is this door locked?!" Im not ok with that, open the door and dont do that again. His mom is right there, doing nothing. Saying nothing.
I finally told my girls that they either needed to find a new game to play or they would have to come out in the living room with me. Which was hard, because this boy totally disregarding the fact that the girls arent supposed to be playing and hes continuing to ask them to come play, or trying to involve them in some game or another.
It was extremely awkward since they live there and his mom didnt seem to care and didnt see anyhting wrong with it. I cant tell someone else's kid what to do, but what kind of a kid does that? Disregards what the parent says and just goes ahead and askes the girls to play?!
What would you have done? Should I have just trusted that the boys mom is well aware of what they're doing and just let them play? should I have told the boy not to involve them anymore??
I would have been just as uncomfortable as you! I don't agree with what that boy was doing and I can't believe the Mom wouldn't respect your feelings about not feeling comfortable with what was going on. I bet it was so awkward. It's hard to know what I would have done in the same situation but I might have just told my girls to find something else to play where they were in my line of sight.
~ Christine ~ Mom to a sweet little girl and 2 busy boys
I would inform the person who you were visiting that you don't feel comfortable and have any future visits at your own house. It isn't good to have a parent of another child undermine your athority with your own children. Remember the reason you have those rules in place (open door, lights on), is to keep your kids safe, and do NOT compromise. If the people were living there temporarily, they might of come from a bad situation themselves, and traumitized children sometimes act out what happened to them, or what they saw. You don't have to be rude, but as the mother of your children, it is your job to protect them and at the very least, you don't want your girls to think not listening to you (like the boy was not listening to his mom) is an okay way to behave.