My 4-year-old has become very trying lately. He's never been a GREAT listener, but lately, it's like he can't even hear us (he can. We've checked.). And he's completely defiant, which I expect for a 4-year-old, but it's gotten really bad. The temper tantrums are paricularly bad. For a child who really didn't cry or throw a tantrum until he's turned 4, the attitude that he should get anything he asks for and if he doesn't, he's going to scream for 45 minutes in the middle of a store are really getting to me. I was not raised to be self-entitled and I don't plan on letting my child be raised like that.
But the worst part is that now, anytime he's in another room of our house playing, he poops himself. If the door is closed and he is playing, no matter how many times I walk in, sit down, talk to him, check in on him, play with him, as soon as I leave the room, he shuts the door and does it. And these are not easy to clean poops. These are messy like he's sat in it for 10 minutes before bothering to tell me. This has become a daily routine. That's not new for him. When he was a baby, unless we smelled it, he showed no signs of caring that he was in a poopy diaper. He really didn't care if he slept in it all night. There were times that we would wake him up in the morning (always a all-night sleeper) and it would be clear that he pooped pretty early in the night and just didn't care.
How do I make him stop pooping his pants and go to the potty? We've tried rewards, punishments, just talking about it. And all he has EVER said is that it is too hard to go to the potty, or that he was scared to tell us he has to go. Then when we ask why he would be scared to do that, he says "Oh, I was just kidding."
We thought it was food allergies and actually cut out unprocessed dairy like yogurt and raw cheese from his diet. We've started to cut out apples because it seems to happen frequently when he has apples, too. I just don't know.
My husband words evenings, so I'm essentially a single parent around here. I could really use some advice because what I'm doing is clearly not working when we're dealing with this every night.