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rickyshanmartin
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎09-22-2013

Doing this alone - I'm scared

My baby's father left when he found out I was pregnant. I'm really scared about how I am going to be able to do this alone, especially during the first few weeks after she is born.  Does anybody have any advice or tips about what I should plan and prepare for to make it go as smoothly as possible?

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Occasional Contributor
baby_girl_17007
Posts: 9
Registered: ‎11-18-2013

Re: Doing this alone - I'm scared

The best thing you can do is have a good support group. Family and friends but mostly family to turn to when you need help or a break. If you don't have that then I would say look into daycare or a sitter to help if you feel overwhelmed. Always sleep when baby sleeps if u can for first few weeks and eventually you can get house work done as your child sleeps. Having a routine secdule will be helpful but don't worry it won't come easy if the baby isn't willing to for a few months maybe more for some. So don't stress.
Try to save as much money as u can now before baby comes will be useful for emergency runs for diapers and other things. And stock up on diapers if u can a bit before but of different sizes some kids grow fast. My son went from premie clothes and diapers to size four dipers by the time he was four months. Second hand stores like goodwill and garage sales plus craigslist and some online Facebook groups can be helpful to find baby times for cheap and in good condition some sell a lot of clothes for a good price. You don't need much in the beginjng weeks of baby but help full to have bath time stuff and for sure a thermometer or two one for diperbag another for baby's room. You can get a crib but I found a pack and play to be the most useful for almost a yr . Easy to set up and can be moved if you go anywhere or for grandmas house. Always remember to take some time for yourself if u can to make things easier.
I hope that helps you out.. I'm.a single mom with a son that's 20 months and have one due in may my kids dad took off too and wasn't around much for support and now is totally gone. Biggest worry I had was support money and how am I to do this alone . I also worried what to tell the child .. totally up to you when kid is older you can choose to tell them what happened and show a pic of the father if they want to see. But by then I bet the child will have a attachment to their grandfather or uncle or maybe even your new bf to look up to as a father figure in life with male bonding time. Everything will be OK one step and day at a time.
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jennifer.waikiki
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎09-30-2013

Re: Doing this alone - I'm scared

I am sorry I am a Due in June Mommy and somehow came upon the May mommies list. I am due the begining of June so chances are I iwll be a May baby as my son came 3 weeks early. :smileyhappy: I know it may not seem like ti now but this could be the best thing your childs father has ever done. I say good get the hell out now. With  my son who is now 7 his father and I were together until my son was about 1. Then when i left his he decided to not be a dad anymore. ( great I was excited I didnt need him as he was a **bleep**ty dad as it was) then when My son turned 3ish he decided to come back into his life and it has been HELL the last 4 years. Constant court dates Laawyer fees that I wil never see the end of. My ex decided that since he remarried he no longer ( well she no longer) wanted to pay child support to my son. The worst mistake i ever did ( making him pay for what was his) I feel if i never did that he still would not be around. My son at age 7 still cries evrytime he has to see his dad. There have been numerous C.P.S issues and his visitation has been taken away and given back many times. Where I live they are trying to rejoin and give dead beat dads a chance to be dads. I know this is a stressful time but you will get through it. You are a mom and you will figure it out I promise. I didnt have family around but i had some great friends who helpped. Get a roommate if you can help with the bills and even someone to watch the baby while you shower will help a lot. Do not put your babies father on the birth certificate. He does not deserve it, honestly when it comes time to talk to you child and explain whay daddy isnt around children are smart and chances are he/she will already have an idea. My curret husband has been the best dad to my son I promoise you will find someone when the time is right. Just enjoy your time with your baby while you can, daycare will be expensive trust me but there are government programs that will help single moms even if you normally do not qualify as low income they help and you only pay a portion of the childcare bill. Also look into WIC they will give you a free breast pump if you decide to nurse. 

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jessicaredd7
Posts: 64
Registered: ‎11-19-2013

Re: Doing this alone - I'm scared

:smileyhappy:I have totally been where you are. It's a scary thing. I was a single mom for 2yrs. I know what you are going through. I don't have the words, but be strong for you and your baby. There are a lot of assistants out there as well. I will pray for you.

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