Occasional Contributor
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎01-03-2014

Trying to decide y/n on a second...

I thought I was pretty decided on only having one (she is 5), then our best friends told us they were pregnant before Thanksgiving and it has really messed with my head. We were pregnant together the first time around and our daughters are only a month apart, completely unplanned. That little voice started asking 'What if you had another one...?' and I feel so torn. I know it is something that ultimately I have to decide on my own, but I was wondering if there was anyone else out there that had a hard time deciding whether to have a second one or not. And if so, what ultimately helped you make the decision (in either direction)? I am happily married and my husband is all for it, though would be fine if we didn't since he thought we were done too. My first was not planned and I was not prepared mentally or emotionally, and that is where my resistance lies I think.  Also, if you have had a second one, what has surprised you the most (good or bad) about having two instead of just one? I really appreciate any input!

Community Manager
Posts: 1,604
Registered: ‎05-24-2013

Re: Trying to decide y/n on a second...

I did not want a second child until my son was about 2 years old.  He was a wonderful surprise so I had alot of adjusting to do.  He had some health problems in the first year which made it especially hard on a first time Mom.  When he got easier around 2-3 years old is when I really wanted another.  I grew up an only child and decided I wanted my son to have a sibling.  My daughter was born when my son was 4.5 years old.  I now have a stepson as well who is only 7 months younger than my son.  My current husband and I talked about having another child since we didn't have one biologically together.  However, now that we have settled into our life with the 3 kids, it just works for us.  I'm about 99% sure I don't want more children.  I think when you know, you know.  You don't want to have any regrets.  If your husband is on board and you feel it in your heart, then go for it.  If you are reluctant...wait a bit and see what that feeling evolves in to.

~ Christine ~
Mom to a sweet little girl and 2 busy boys
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