Talk to your husband. Ask him to share some of the responsibility. Why are you so tired while he has all this energy? Raising a child/children isn't solely the mom's responsibility. What could be more attractive than having him take some of the pressure of and letting you get some rest and time to gain back some of that energy? All of the responses of "just do it" are absolutely disturbing to me because it sets the tone that your feelings and needs are not important, only his. You have needs too. And if they aren't being met, you need to speak up. And once they are, you will start considering your sensual needs, which are as important as his are too.
Check out my blog mommystrong13.wordpress.com you will find helpful stuff there. Especially under the "marriage" category. And the short answer is no matter how tired you are, you husband comes before you. If he is anything like my husband, he will understand if u say "babe, we really need to talk" then sit down and calmly express in how u are feeling and request a few things from him. Gor example "im sorry im allways so tired lately, but perhaps if you could help me with cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, i may be able to have more energy for some fun after the kids go to bed" always make sure u are being nice about it otherwise that will backfire. Initiate sex at least once a week no matter how tired u are. At first u think u may be too wiped but afterwards u will be sooo glad u did. Please please please check my blog, i go further into detail on what would help your situation.
I am very sorry that you feel like being submissive doesnt work for you. Unfortunately it doesn not for some people, altho for the majority i believe it does. It is amazing what happens when both husband and wife give 100% of themselves to each other. Neither one even notices how much they are sacrificing bc to them they love their spouse so much they WANT to do it. And i dont just want blog hits. I really want to share with other people what works for me. And yes, being submissive to my husband is definitely working for me. I couldnt be happier with where my marriage is right now and we have a beautiful 4 mo old girl. I love my husband so much i will literally do anything he wants as long as it does not go against what i stand for. And he believes the same as i do and loves me so much he would never ask anything of me that i wouldnt be willing/able to do. Its an amazing relationship and i want other couples to be able to experience what we have. Some people do not know how to achieve that. So i started a blog to help people. If i only have 5the friends read it every week then those 5 are being helped. If 1 or 2 others stumble across it then i hope they find something that applies to them. I only suggested it in the first place bc i had just written on how to fight for your marriage. And i wanted my original comment to be kept short so i put that link in there and pray that it will help somebody.
Oh hey in case i dont make it over to my blog, at least check out "The no cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantley. It will help with your baby sleeping so you're not as tired. Ot was a lifesaver for me