New Member
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎10-11-2013

Too tired for sex and we’re fighting

I'm sooooo tired. All the time. My daughter is still getting up at night and I have a hard time falling asleep. Sooo that means once I hit the bed, I'm done for the day. Which means no sex for the hubs and he's a bit pissed about it. Anyone else going through this? My nights are so stressful knowing I'm going to fight about sex and then get up to a crying baby a few hours later. Help!

Regular Contributor
Posts: 223
Registered: ‎08-20-2013

Re: Too tired for sex and we’re fighting

I basically had to force myself to agree to sexleast once a week, but it got easier. Especially once I sleep trained dd2, everything got better. I really like the book Good Night, Sleep Tight. It got both my kids sttn quick but wasn't super stressful either.
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Super Contributor
Posts: 370
Registered: ‎06-24-2013

Re: Too tired for sex and we’re fighting

I wish I had some advice here.. I remember those days, plus getting up at 5am for school! 

I never experienced a decrease in drive or felt "too tired" ...and I had some really rough times those early months (IUD, not healing properly internally because of IUD.. months of spotting)  ..

DH would wish I'd be too tired.. lol.  He always complains Im always hot to trot. =x



My thing is maybe you should at least "make some time" for the DH.. Alot of times a man will feel neglected when a baby arrives, and  they still need attention too. Even if you are tired, sometimes it pays off to just try to be spunky for him one night.

I know its hard, especially when concerned about not getting enough sleep.. but its worth not putting a strain on yourself and marriage any further. :smileyhappy:

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Posts: 1
Registered: ‎10-12-2013

Re: Too tired for sex and we’re fighting

My husband and I decided to see a marriage counselor because we were fighting a lot. I was very tired and irritable. He was frustrated. After seeking for help our relationship has gradually become better. The baby has become calmer too since he was able to sense the tension between us. Having a baby changes the dynamic of the relationship and sometimes that requires a big adjustment. Good luck.
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New Contributor
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎10-26-2013

Re: Too tired for sex and we’re fighting

It really is exhausting being a mom, and it's hard to get into the mood when all u want to do is crash.

I started having some compassion for my husband and saying "I'm really very tired, can we do this tomorrow so I can try to reserve some energy for fun with you? I'd really like to enjoy my time with you and not just lie there". And he started understanding my motivation for saying no was not just to block him and say no.
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Occasional Visitor
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎10-26-2013

Re: Too tired for sex and we’re fighting

I've been in the same boat. My son is almost 4 and my daughter is 19 months. My daughter still wakes in the middle of the night, and my son still sneaks into bed with us. Tired has become my new state of normal. But, my only bit of advice is to try try try to make the time to be sexy again with hubby. Dont look at it as "time to have sex" but to "be sexy". Send him sweet flirty texts during the day or give his butt a little squeeze when you walk by him in the hall. You'll be amazed at how quickly your desire to sex will come back once you start making it fun again. Thats what worked for me anyway. I woke up one day thinking "my hubs and I used to be sexy together, I can still be my old fun sexy self AND be a mom!" Plus, why only have sex at night? Maybe on a saturday or sunday, plop the kids on the couch in front of a cartoon for 20 minutes (or get them down for a nap) and sneak off to the bedroom with hubby for a quickie. Hope any of that helps :-) good luck!
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Occasional Visitor
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎10-26-2013

Re: Too tired for sex and we’re fighting

Do it anyway! Not that long ago, I felt the same way. Now my husband is 44 and HE tells ME that he's too tired! And he is! He goes to bed early and has three cups of coffee every morning to wake up. Men get old quickly. Hindsight being 20/20, if I were you, I would sit down with your hubby and tell him that you're exhausted and really don't feel like it, but you'll do it anyway because he wants it, BUT he has to do the same thing in a few years once you "bounce back". Don't tell him he's going to get old.. Lol! I read something somewhere that said a husband and wife should have an agreement that when it comes to sex, you always say yes, even if it's just a 2 minute quickie in the shower.
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